Peace Turkey

"... You do something to me that I can't explain..."

2010-04-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

Pet peeve:

People who slop coffee and cream all over the milk/creamer counter at coffee shops and then don't wipe up after themselves.

Seriously? There are napkins right there next to the stirrers and sugar packets you just used. Pick up a napkin, wipe up the mess you created and be on your way.

The irritation I feel about these people is so irrationally, fiery hot. And what's worse is that *I* then feel compelled to wipe up the mess if they don't!

The baristas and I are not your maids, Pigpens!

I think to myself every time I see this happen: "What would your mother think?" Although, maybe their mothers always cleaned up every spill they ever made which would make sense given that as adults, these people still expect someone else to clean up their messes.

Have a happy, slop-free Sunday everyone!

By the way, it's daffodil season in Pittsburgh!

"...ah don't you believe we're on the eve of distruction..."

2010-03-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

Twitter is destroying my urge to blog.

Do you tweet, dear readers? (if I have any left!)

It's an odd thing, that Twitter. You can say anything, any time to anyone. I don't hold on to bits of stories and turn them into blog posts anymore. I just tweet away all day long and by the time I get home at night, there's nothing left to talk about!

I miss blogging, though. There's something nice about being able to type more than 140 characters to tell a story.

All is well in PT world. Jason is off on his annual trip to Moab (he'll be back Sunday - and not a moment too soon. My heart is aching to be with him.) Sara is graduating from Law School in May. And yours truly got a fairly impressive promotion at work starting July 1.

And it's going to be like, 80 freaking degrees in Pittsburgh on Friday! That alone is worth this post.

I miss you guys. Are you still out there?

*hugs*

"...beauty school dropout, no graduation day for you..."

2010-01-21T12:58:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure why I never mentioned it before, but Jason rescued a German Shepherd a couple weeks before Christmas.

The doggie's name is Zeus and he is GINORMOUS. 100 pounds and a little underweight at this point.

Photos really don't do his size justice. But photos do show how gorgeous he is:

On January 5th, he ran after a deer when Jason let him out to tinkle and was missing for 8 days. Those 8 days happened to be the coldest yet in Pgh this winter and Jason and I had visions of poor Zeus freezing to death out in the streets of Pittsburgh.

We canvased neighborhoods with fliers, fielded dozens of phone calls from people who claimed they saw Zeus and held multiple stakeouts in areas he was "last seen."

We were told by naysayers that we weren't going to find him and that since we only had him for a month that we should just get over it. To this, we replied, "But we already love him. He's like our kid." To this, everyone laughed at us.

As it turns out, Zeus found his way back to his original owner (3 miles from Jason's house) who didn't know how to contact us until he saw one of our posters. So Zeusy was actually on this guy's couch eating bon-bons for 7 days while we thought he was dead or well on his way to like, fucking Cleveland or somewhere equally scary.

I don't think I've ever been as relieved about anything my life the way I was last Thursday when Jason called me to tell me he had Zeus in his arms.

Interestingly enough, Jason had the opportunity to talk to Zeus' original owner about Zeus' past.

It turns out Zeus was trained to be a police dog and was actually working with the Pittsburgh Police for 9 months before he flunked out. He was returned to his owner, presumably because he's too sweet and quite honestly just doesn't listen that well. His original owner had, in the meantime, had adopted a rottweiler and didn't have the ability to take care of two huge dogs. So Zeusy got taken to the Animal Rescue League. And then along came Jason and the rest is history.

Phew.

So that's what's been up with us the past couple of weeks.

Adopting Zeus then losing Zeus and then finding Zeus has made this an unbelievably stressful month.

The losing of Zeus in particular put an enormous strain on Jason and me and our relationship. All we did was cry and sleep. We didn't talk. We didn't touch. We stopped being playful with each other. All we did was wallow in sadness about sweet Zeusy being gone from our lives.

Things have gone back to normal now and clearly we're going to need to work on finding better ways to deal with sad things that happen to us.

So anyway.

Back to your regularly scheduled Peace Turkey. :-)

"...I wish everyone was loved tonight..."

2009-12-31T10:37:00.000-08:00

So Happy New Year everyone!

You know, I've never been a big New Year's Eve party person. I'm one of those rare few who goes into an introspective and emo mood on NYE instead of a woohoo party mood. This usually means I end the night in weepy, self-indulgent tears. Not tears of sadness, just tears from being over-wrought.

Jason and I are heading down to my parents' house tonight after I get off work for a quiet dinner at with them and Sara at The Grand Valley Inn, a sweet little family owned restaurant a few minutes from my parents' house. It's nothing fancy or pretentious. But what it lacks in granduer it makes up in delicious food and lovely wine selections. And it's kinda nice that on a night like tonight when dance clubs and chain resteraunts are packed to the gills, we can go to a place that's completely under the radar.

If you're a woohoo person - be careful tonight.

If you're a weepy emo - come, let's have a group hug.

Best wishes for a gentle, peaceful 2010 that's full of grace and love.

"...you pull me closer to love..."

2009-12-30T07:56:00.000-08:00

Last year I got flatware from Jason for Christmas. He's so practical. And it was our first time exchanging gifts. And to be honest, the gifts I gave him weren't so hot either. So.

....

...this year...

....I got Jason a few goofy gifts and a glass-blowing workshop at the Pittsburgh Glass Center since he's fearless about learning new things and loves making things.

...he got me a box of plastic forks. To be a smart ass, you see.

And he also got me this ASS-KICKING Trek Woman Specific bike! It accommodates the HIPS and the BUTT and the narrower shoulders! It's lovely! And it's BLUE! And now I can pedal with him on the countless trails around Pittsburgh!

It was wrapped and everything under his cute little tree. I wish I had taken a picture of it wrapped with that big red bow.

w00t!

Christmas was fleeting as always but it was lovely and peaceful and filled me up with so much love because I got to spend three whole days with my family and Jason. That was the best gift of all.

(Oh please who am I kidding? The fancy bike was the best part. ;-D )

"... I cannot live, I can't breathe unless you do this with me..."

2009-12-15T09:30:00.000-08:00

My parents met on a blind date set up by my dad's uncle who at the time happened to work with my mom.

Twenty-eight years later, they're still together and still hold hands and look at each other with goo-goo eyes.

Here's the thing fun part: They got married two weeks after their blind date. They went to Atlantic City and were married by a Justice of the Peace. They'd both been married before, both been cheated on and run-out on. And when they met each other, they just knew.

My mom's mom (Nana) was not convinced Mama PT knew what she was doing. Nana didn't understand what her preppy, Presbyterian, Evan-Piccone-suite-wearing-school-librarian-daughter saw in Papa PT - a rough and tough electrician who wore belt buckles and cowboy boots and sported permed hair (Hey, it was the late 80's ok?) and *gasp* was a Croat and Catholic!

So when Ma PT went to Nana to tell her that they were doing to Atlantic City on May 18th, 1981 to get married, Nana's response was "Oh no you're not."

They got married anyway. And eventually, Nana accepted Pa PT. Not when Sara was born a year later. Not when I was born a year after that. It wasn't until a decade later when Nana was sick and Papa PT drove her to dialysis three times a week that Nana finally loved my dad - and actually told him as much.

... This is all to say that it hasn't always been easy for Ma PT to accept Jason. In fact, for the majority of the first year we were together, my mom actively disliked him in much the same way Nana actively disliked my dad - without provocation or reason. She has gotten warmer with Jason and Jason knows he needs to work for it a bit too.

Last night, Ma PT and I were talking and randomly - in the middle of talking about Christmas cookies and the Christmas Day dinner menu - my mom said to me, "I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been more accepting of Jason. I'm not going to be to you how my mother was with me."

So we had a little cry about that and then we went back to talking about sugar cookies. Like you do.

"...Is this the way it's really going down..."

2009-11-29T07:23:00.000-08:00

Today's post is a guest post by my favorite person, Fashionista0921.

Fashionista, whether she realizes it or not, is a such a feminist in how she has dealt with everything these past months. She turned inward. She became introspective. And she focused on herself instead of turning into one of those stark, raving mad "women scorned" that society wants and expects every woman to become after a breakup. For this, I bestow upon her an honorary doctorate in Feminist Theory from PT University. :-)

Enjoy!

*********************************************************

I recent article over at the New York Times over here got me thinking... to Facebook or not to Facebook?!

About 9 or so months ago, you all know by now that my person and I took a break. We had known each other for over two years and were officially dating for a year and seven months. Times got a bit tough and we decided to take a break, a break I thought I knew would end with us back together. But that didn't happen. While on Facebook one day, I discovered he was in a new relationship, which tore my soul and heart to pieces. How could the person I thought I wanted to spend forever with do this to me? Did the really happen to me?

As you from my previous posting on PT, this was one of the hardest and most rewarding times of my life. As much as I think no one should go through the feelings of heart break and self doubt as I went though, it really made me realize alot of things about myself. Through it all, I discovered how strong and amazing I am. I know now what I wish I would have realized then. Things aren't going to work out with this past relationship, but I now know what I want and what I diserve in a partner. I'm im terrified, excited, and freaked-out as hell to start dating again. But I'm mostly excited to see what's in store for me.

This all beings me to the question- To Facebook or not to Facebook?

After Facebook crushed my heart, I asked PT to change my password and not tell me. I still wanted to remain on Facebook but I didnt want to have the opportunity to stalk my past person, his and our friends, and his new person. I couldn't watch his new life unfold before my eyes - a life at the time that I still wanted to be a part of. The most important part of my healing process came when I told PT to pull the plug, to delete my Facebook account completely. And it sure as hell felt good. I've been Facebook free for about 4 months or so, and it has been great.

But recently, I have been thinking about bringing it back.

I've lost touch with some friends and relatives, and I'm starting to think that maybe its hindering myself in entering the dating world. Guys I meet can't stalk me on Facebook. They can't find out if we have mutual friends, what people are writing on my way or even what crazy bumper sticker someone has given me. Hell, I dont even know what Facebook can tell you about people these days, but I'm sure its TMI.

I know this all sounds crazy, but I think guys are timid to approach a girl without first feeling a sense of comfort and an acceptance that is a girl is interested in you. Maybe Facebook does this for our generation. Maybe finding out information about a person before you ask them out is a comfort level we are all getting a bit too comfortable with. Isn't that what dating is all about? Discovering a person?

Writing this has helped me flesh things out and I think I've answered my own question - I'm not going to return Facebook anytime soon. But you can catch me at my blog or on Twitter (@fashionista0921)

But what do you think... Facebook or not?

(This post totally made me feel like SJP typing away abot relationships on her mac. WIN!)

"...Thank you for bein' a friend..."

2009-11-25T14:33:00.000-08:00

Dear PT readers -

I have a special guest post lined up for tomorrow, so I wanted to take the time to thank everyone today for reading my little slice of the interwebs. (It being Thanksgiving and all.)

I have alot to be thankful for this year - I'm employed, I'm loved, I'm healthy and most of all I have the support of amazing friends (invisible and visible, near and far...)

I hope you all have a nice day with your people tomorrow.

Stay tuned for Fashionista0921 's guest post tomorrow.

Love and hugs to you all,
PT

"I hear in my mind all of these words and it breaks my heart, breaks my heart..."

2009-11-24T10:30:00.000-08:00

Here in Pittsburgh, we 'Burghers found out today that our mayor Luke Ravenstahl is separating from his wife.

He's 29.

They have a son who is one year old.

He and his wife were married for five years and were high school sweethearts.

It's been a rough year for relationships, it seems...

It makes me sad. And it makes me worry about the nature of our society.

And that's probably all I should say about this.

:-(

"...meet me on the equinox, meet me halfway..."

2009-11-22T08:04:00.000-08:00

Last night Jason and I went out to dinner at the Sharp Edge in Pittsburgh's East End.

Sharp Edge is this phenomenal bar/restaurant that has an overwhelming beer list full of beers I do not understand. I'm not a beer fan like Sara and Jason are. I'm more of a wino. But I do like Sharp Edge because it's *such* a foodie restaurant. Amazingly bizarre entrees and salads and soups grace their menu and I'm always drunk (being that I do drink a fancy beer or two and don't handle them well) and stuffed to the gills when the night is over.

But I digress.

We met up with a dozen or so of Jason's friends - the majority of whom have children. One of the couples has a little guy who is a little less than a year old and just unimaginably adorable. Adorable to the point where I can't help but reach for him whenever I see him.

I have yet to be able to hold him for longer than 30 seconds without him screaming bloody murder.

*le sigh*

A few years ago? Wouldn't have phased me. Recently? Makes my ovaries frown and pout.

"...I just called to say I love you, I just called to say how much I care..."

2009-11-17T09:46:00.000-08:00

Hello lovies!

Not too much going on here in my neck of the woods.

Last Saturday was my Ma's birthday. She turned 61!
How cute is she? And how amazing does she look? No one ever thinks she looks her age! Woohoo! Thanks for the good genes Ma!

We went out to dinner. Where we all drank alot of wine and ate alot of food.

Sara and our Dad always sit together when we go out for dinner and are always up to no good on their side of the table....
Look how cute and innocent they look.

We went back to Sara and mine's house (that grammar sounds awkward.... that can't be proper...) for birthday cake! That Whole Foods does a good job! I mean... uh.... Peace Turkey TOTALLY baked and decorated that herself... right down to the chocolate plaque! ;-)

This weekend involved a trip to my parents' house for dinner on Saturday and then a lot of vegetating, as demonstrated so well by Pete...

And then Sunday, Jason and I went to the Steelers' game where we saw the Black and Gold pathetically lose to the damn BENGALS. Ugh.

But look at this fabulous picture of Jason with Heinz Field reflected in his sunnies...

:-D

Ok, that's all. Forgive my laziness with the photo-heavy/word-light post. But go ahead and admit it... you all love seeing personal pictures on your invisible friends' (TM Auntie Susan) blogs!

"...as I walked out on the streets of Loredo..."

2009-11-06T12:09:00.000-08:00

So I went to Costco the other day (don't judge me - they have really good produce and meat and inexpensive kitty litter.) And I always feel like such a big girl going to places like that because it's such a parent-type thing to do.

So I'm walking through the store (warehouse, whatev) with my cart full of bulk kitty litter and paper towels and 10 pound bags of banana bunches and I saw this:

A display of horses big enough for a toddler to ride!

I immediately snapped a picture and sent it to Sara (who still asks for a pony every year for Christmas and was feeling blue about her recent breakup.)

I'm generally the type of gal who loves being a grown up and all of the lovely things that go with it - ordering a glass of wine with dinner, buying my own clothes, staying up late, eating cereal for dinner, having a committed relationship, etc etc.

But seeing that pony at Costco made me wistful. And it made me miss my parents (who I do get to see every couple of weeks, at least.) And it made me miss being a little girl.

And when I was sure none of the parent-types who were there at Costco with me were looking, I walked up to the pony and patted his head.

"...I always looked in through your glasses but all I can see is the specter of me reflected..."

2009-11-01T09:12:00.000-08:00

Being that I'm not a huge Halloween costume person and being that I am an optician, I contend that wearing weird glasses is a costume in and of itself (which is why I wear all the weird glasses I do in my everyday life - it's like playing dress up every day!)

At trick or treat last night, Jason and I wore funny glasses while we sat on my front porch to passed out candy.

The specs Jason sported are actually for sale in my store and I must say are actually very popular among the arty and hipster types. And I must say, he is wildly adorable in glasses - even though it kinda looks like he's missing an eyeball in that picture.

The kids all liked him. He got a combination of "It's Where's Waldo!" and "It's Harry Potter!" comments from the little ones.

I on the other hand managed to actually frighten a fair number of kiddles with my glasses...

"...I will carry you, I will carry you..."

2009-10-30T11:28:00.001-07:00

My sister and her partner broke up this week.

My sister will be ok.

She asked herself the question my mom always told us to ask ourselves when someone was making our life sad or difficult, "Does this person make my life better?"

In the end, it turns out, this person did not make my sister's life better. This person made Sara's complicated and angsty and difficult.

Last night, instead of going to Jason's house after work, I went home to be with Sara. And Jason came over for dinner.

And on the way to our house, he must have stopped at the supermarket because he came through the door with a bag that held what every girl needs when she goes through a breakup (whether she is the breaker or the breakee.)

It was a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

"I brought you something... you'll need this," Jason said as he handed her the bag.

Sara smiled and I, as I often do, thanked my lucky stars that this man is in my life.

"...honey you know where the world is at, come home with me when the party ends..."

2009-10-28T08:22:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, my parents had their annual bonfire at their house.

Dinner ala Mama PT, s'mores, beer and wine, pun'kin carving and good down home country charm.

The pun'kin carving is a serious thing in the Peace Turkey family.

There's no triangle eyes and crooked mouth jack-o-lanterns allowed unless you're under the age of 5.

Behold:
It's serious, people.

This was Jason's first PT family bonfire. So the pressure was on to perform well during the pun'kin carving portion of the evening.

This is what he came up with:

See, I'm a cat person. And, being a little girl once upon a time, I loved and still love all things Hello Kitty. (Yes, I am that girl.)

Jason (hunched over his pun'kin to hide the design) : My pumpkin is for you.

PT (somewhat dismissively): Aw, that's cute.

Jason: Wait til you see what it is.

PT: Neat.

::Jason shows me his carving masterpiece and I get the sniffles.::

All together now: "Awwwwwwwwwwwww."

It's the small things, you know?

"...scar tissue that I wish you saw, sarcastic mister know it all..."

2009-10-26T07:21:00.000-07:00

Back in April, one of my dearest friends asked me if she could guest blog here at Peace Turkey. Fashionista0921 has a fashion blog and wanted a safe, relationshippy place like Peace Turkey to talk about a relationship problem. You can find her original post here.

A comment on that post that I received early this morning prompted me to get Fashionista0921 to write a follow up.

I can tell you that Fashionista0921 is one of the strongest women I know. And I can tell you that she and her person are no longer together.

Here she is, dear readers.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

With a recent comment by Excalibur on my last guest post, I decided to write a follow up post.

It’s been almost 10 months since my first serious break-up. That break-up was with a person I thought was “the one.” I’m happy to report I feel about 90% fantastic, with the other 10% still uncertain. I leave this 10% out of the other fantasticness because love is something I cherish and want so much. I don’t think I will be 100% better until I find it and I’m ready, excited, terrified and nervous to find it again.

The journey I went through was the hardest thing I ever had to go through to date, but it was also one of my greatest accomplishments. Going through the pain and heartache only made me a stronger person. I can accomplish anything now and I know I can go though any amount of pain and not lose myself. I came out the other side of this breakup a better person. It made me realize life’s priorities, my wants and needs, and my overall awesomeness.

I will note that I don’t hate the person who did this to me. I never will. Yes, he did the worst thing anyone could do to me- he left and broke my heart, but I don’t hate him. I can sit here and type to you how much he deserves to never speak to me again and never be a part of my life, but I’m not sure how much I believe that. Right now, the anger is still inside of me.

For anyone going through the similar situation, I give you a virtual hug and a promise that it will be okay. It will be. Of course it sucks and of course you cant see the light at the end, but its there and when you reach the end, you will see the amazingness that your world will be filled with.

"...they say it's your birthday..."

2009-10-24T07:59:00.000-07:00

It's totally not my birthday. We'll get to that in a minute.

Last night, I went to a company dinner (a reward for meeting a whoa-outrageous sales goal with my team) at this lovely, ritzy place in downtown Pittsburgh called The Carlton. There were six of us, including the Prez and VPrez of the company.

I ordered VEAL. Just a day ago, after watching this brutal humane society commercial about animal cruelty with cows and chickens, I swore I was going vegan. But I sat there last night, with my leather boots on and ordered VEAL. And it was AH-MAZING. Sorry baby cow, but you're delicious. And I did donate $20 to the Humane Society this month. So.

Anyway.

We were having this lovely dinner full of great conversation and yummy appetizers and wildly flavorful main courses and brilliant red wine and shots of Patron (like you do, apparently) and then we ordered coffees and cappuccinos and desserts.

Our coffees came and everyone's dessert came. Except mine. I kind of looked around and kind of shrugged and started to sip my cappuccino. I figured the waiter must have forgotten my chocolate raspberry torte but eh, I didn't care. I was just happy to have good people around me and delicious coffee.

Annnnnd then of course.... the entire waitstaff comes out and start singing "Happy Birthday" as they walk towards me with my dessert that of course has a candle stuck in it.

No matter how old your bosses are or how fancy the restaurant is, it's always funny to play the "we're gonna pretend it's someone's birthday" joke on someone.

And it was funny. And very apropos of our group. What's the point of going out and having a fancy meal and lots of wine if you can't enjoy yourself and embarrass at least one person in your party?

Last night was the most fun I've had in a while. It was one of those stress-free, "this restores my faith in my company and my job" kind of evenings.

:-)

"...throw our caution to the wind and just do as we please..."

2009-10-14T11:10:00.000-07:00

I've been going to the gym alot, trying to build the habit again.

One complaint I have about my gym is that there isn't a good space to lay down a mat and bust out the ab workout du jour.

So yesterday when I went to Jason's after the gym, I forced myself to do my ab and core routine.

Now flopping around on the floor in the gym like a big old beached tunafish doing crunches and bicycle legs is one thing. Those people at the gym are strangers and I've gotten my "fuck you, stare at me if you dare" attitude back so I could give a cannoli less about them.

Doing it in front of someone you are intimate with is something else entirely.

Some couples like to pretend their partner doesn't poop. I like to pretend that Jason doesn't see my lower abdomen fat layer. And doing ab and core work in front of him last night in an effort to get back into the routine was one of the most emotionally taxing things I've ever experienced.

And that's really saying something, friends.

That being said, I forced Jason to join me in my last exercise which I call " 'bows and toes." See what you do is brace yourself on your toes and forearms and elbows and hold the plank position for a designated period of time using your abdominal muscles to keep yourself in position.

I do the 'bows and toes position for one minute at a time as many times as I physically can.

It doesn't sound hard but it's punishing and it SHREDS your abs. Like, results in a month SHRED. It's a good move.

So I figured Jason's punishment for sitting on the couch, drinking a beer and watching me flop around like the aforementioned tunafish was to make him join me for the last minute of 'bows and toes.

And his fit and trim cyclist's body was begging for mercy as the 10 second countdown began.

Victory is mine.

"I'm sorrrry, so sorrryyyy..."

2009-10-13T14:18:00.000-07:00

Omg I'm the worst blogger ever!

A whole effing month ago, I did a giveaway and never posted a winner and never even posted anything else since.

Well I got my head outta my bum and I'm here to announce the winner....

Random Integer Generator
Here are your random number:4
Timestamp: 2009-10-13 21:17:58 UTC

...using random.org 's random integer generator, lucky comment #4 is the winner! Congrats Lisa! You'll have 24 hrs to repond to my email!

Clearly I'm not cut out for this whole giveaway thing.

But honestly, I might give it another try. My sweet other half has started an Etsy store for his upcycled artwork. And I'm certain I can talk him into doing a piece for a giveaway.

And I promise it won't take me a month to announce the winner next time!

"...Dress you up in my love (in my love) all over all over..."

2009-09-16T12:08:00.000-07:00

Don't forget everyone! Today is the last day to enter to win that amazing Tolani scarf! Just comment by 9pm and you're in the running! Woot!

Speaking of scarves, check out this amazing little nugget of warmth from Beautiful Bridget Designs! And she's giving it away!

Goodness, I love fall!

"...Just call my naaaaammmmeee I'll be there..."

2009-09-15T08:23:00.000-07:00

Don't forget bebes - tomorrow is the last day to enter to win that faboosh scarf!

I'll be honest with you, I feel a little lame only 5 people came out of the woodwork to comment in the hopes of winning the scarf.

I like to think I have lurkers. It's the regulars and the hope of getting someone to de-lurk that keeps me blogging.

SO FINE! KEEP LURKING! DON'T WIN THE SCARF!

*huffs, crosses arms, turns back on you.*

*turns back around*

I'm just kidding.

Kind of.

"...Put a little love in your heart..."

2009-09-13T06:56:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things about Pittsburgh is all of the independent, locally owned businesses.

Why go to Starbucks when you can go to Crazy Mocha?

Why go to Giant Eagle when you can go to the East End Food Co-Op?

And why, why go to a big box clothing store when you can go to Sugar?

Katie and her Sugar Boutique have been nominated for NBC/American Express "Shine a Light" competition.

When I met Katie, the owner of Sugar about a year ago, I fell in love with her store and the independent designer clothing she carries. Each time I stop in to visit her we sit, have a chat and catch up on life and then browse through new pieces in her collections. It's not just about the dress or the scarf I buy - it's about supporting her and her local business.

Please support an amazing woman and an amazing independent business by endorsing Sugar. The winner of the "Shine a Light" competition receives generous funding for their business for marketing and growing her business.

"...Strike up the music, the band has begun..."

2009-09-12T07:16:00.000-07:00

My Papala and I went to the Steelers' game Thursday and had a serious case of the goofies all night.

As evidenced here:

And here:

Yes, we're those people.

Alot can be understood about both me and my upbringing in these pictures of my Dad. We're total jagoffs, we're not shy and we really don't care if anyone though we were assholes in that sideline store in the stadium, trying on goofy hats and laughing til our abs hurt.

Being one of those people, it turns out, is a pretty good kind of people to be.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Giveaway!

2009-09-11T07:53:00.000-07:00

Ok readers! Here's something new and exciting: my first blog giveaway!

For those of you who have been long time readers, you've heard about my passion for wearing statement scarves all year long. So I had to jump at this particular giveaway offer!

chickdowntown.com is sponsoring an amazing Tolani scarf giveaway! chickdowntown is a locally owned and operated Pittsburgh clothing store. From crazy, fancy trendy dresses to classic accessories like the scarf I'm giving away, chickdowntown is a fabulous contributor to our local fashion scene (and our local business economy!)

And in honor of the Steelers' kicking off their season last night with a fabulous win over the Tennessee Titans, I picked a black and gold themed 100% silk Tolani scarf for you to win!

Check it out:

Seriously, I'm so jealous! A lil fleur de lis action. A lil fringe action. Hotness.

Here's all you gotta do:

Just leave a comment on this post between now and Wednesday, September 16th 2009 by 9pm. Tell me "I want a piece of Pittsburgh fashion from chickdowntown!"*

I'll use http://www.random.org/ to pick a winner and announce that winner on Friday, September 18th!

Please leave either your blog link or your email address in your comment so I can contact you if you are the winner.

chickdowntown.com will ship your scarf right to you in their adorable package, all tied up with a chickdowntown bow!

While you're waiting to hear about who the lucky winner is, check out chickdowntown.com and say hi to the owner, Amy, on Twitter!

Good luck everyone! Get commenting!

*US residents only, must be 18 or older. Winner must respond within 24 hrs of my notification.

"...hello, I've waited here for you, everlong..."

2009-09-09T12:50:00.000-07:00

After holding all of you invisible friends in wait for the results of my haircut, here I am!

And here you are:

Look at the angst! The wonky tired eyes! Brilliant!

In all seriousness though, I do like this hair cut. It's still high-maintenance, just like the long hair was (see blogger profile pic) but I guess that's the price I pay for having thin, flat hair. I gotta beat it into submission to make it look purdy!

And that's all I've got today.

*shrugs*

"...I have become cumbersome..."

2009-08-25T09:50:00.000-07:00

Warning: this post is full of angst, swearing and confidence issues.

Once upon a time, I was a gym-head.

Like, a hard core "I know how to use every weight machine and do intense looking things with free weights" gym-head. Like, a "LOVE to weight-lift" gym-head.

I was THAT girl at the gym that worked out next to all the hard-core guys while the other chicks pounded their joints on the treadmills.

I had a high, tight ass and a flat, non-jiggly stomach.

*sigh* How things have changed.

Now, the thing is, I would rather do weight-training than cardio ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. I fucking hate cardio. HATE.

However, after a year and a half absence from the gym, I find myself lacking ALL of the confidence and swagger at my new gym that I used to have when it came to weight-training at my old gym.

I didn't give a shit if someone watched me or if a dude with biceps the size of my thigh asked to work in with me while I was doing sets. But that was before.

Since I joined this new gym three weeks ago, I've been scanning my card and scampering quickly to the cardio room where I kill myself on the elliptical, all the while daydreaming about doing weight training.

This morning, I finally braved the weight room at my new gym. The weight-training itself felt amazing. It, at the risk of sounding maudlin, felt like a homecoming.

But, during my last exercise - this crazy move called a "teapot" that works abs while you're standing - I saw someone looking at me and quit before I was done with my third and final set, grabbed my keys and left.

FAIL.

Where did my confidence go?

Honestly, I know where it went - it went down the shitter along with my willpower to not eat pasta and bread.

I know where to find it - in my currently too small yoga pants I used to work out in 20 pounds ago.

Now all I need is to force myself to keep lifting even though I hate the body I see in the mirror right now.

One day about a month down the road, I'll look in that mirrow and find myself looking better, right?

"...a week of rolling eyes and cheap shots from the trite..."

2009-08-22T07:13:00.000-07:00

I've given more thought to this dramatic haircut business.

There's a French Coiffure salon right by my store and it was very highly reccommended to me by one of my fabulous co-workers.

I'm thinking Audrey Tautou in Amelie:

[Source]

But less cutesy. And a bit longer. And less bang-y. (HA! Bangy.) And then I realized that if I'm looking for less cutesy, more length and less bangs that means that's not the haircut I'm looking for at all.

So I started Googling "French Coiffure" and sweet baby Jeebus, the results were FANTASTIC.

Behold:

[Source]

I vote for Coiffure #1. I think it's the slightly pained expression of the model that has me hooked. Discuss.

"...waaaaaait, they don't love you like I love you..."

2009-08-21T14:46:00.000-07:00

I really don't have much to discuss, bebes.

It's been one of those weeks where so much has happened and my thoughts have been so muddled that I'm just kinda like, "meh" about everything due to emotional overload. Nothing bad has happened. Just your typical life stuff.

Meh.

Also, I can't get that Yeah Yeah Yeahs song out of my head. Don't get me wrong, I love that song. But...

...Meh.

I think it's time to get a hair cut. I'm one of those "once or twice a year" haircut people. I usually only cut my hair when I get like this. So cuts are always dramatic changes for me. I haven't been this "meh" in so long... as a result, my hair is long, as seen in my Blogger profile pic. I'm thinking short, stacked bob with swoopy bangs. Maybe it'll make me feel less "meh."

Meh.

::wanders away...::

"...so fly one time, flyyyy one time..."

2009-08-12T16:11:00.000-07:00

None of you will believe this but I kid you not there is an impromptu ragtime band playing outside of my store. It consists of an old dude playing a trombone, a young hipster playing a banjo and a band geek type playing a clarinet.

It is RIDONKULOUS!

And that's all I have to say about that.

In other news, I'm headed to the gym after work to burn off the pizza I ate for lunch and to work off the aggression that has been building up all day for various reasons.

It's true what they say - exercise does boost your state of mind.

Whatever. I'm just glad there are tv's on all of the cardio machines so I can watch America's Funniest Home videos while I sweat. Seeing someone get hit in the face or fall head first into like, a swimming pool makes me feel so good about myself and the state of my life.

Later, bebes!

"...hot town summer in the city back of my neck gettin' dirty and gritty..."

2009-08-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

Holy god damn it is so effing hot in Pittsburgh this week.

How hot is it?

It's "I'm not even going to bother wearing eyeliner or eyeshadow because my eyeballs are sweaty" hot. I feel so naked with just mascara on. Also, I look like I'm 15 and oddly masculine. Behold:

It's "I'm jealous of babies because they get powdered and put in a onesie in weather like this" hot.

It's "I feel like my body is going to overheat and shut down like my failure of an HP laptop" hot.

It's "Get the fuck away from me, it's too hot to cuddle" hot.

It's "Omg I can't wait for winter" hot.

IT'S HOT ENOUGH TO MAKE ME WEAR LESS MAKEUP AND LONG FOR WINTER, PEOPLE! THIS IS SERIOUS!

*sigh*

"...I will hold you for as long as you like, I'll hold you for the rest of my life..."

2009-08-03T16:27:00.000-07:00

I was away all weekend and as a result had a lot of internet to catch up on this morning.

On my walk in to work, I made the decision to join the gym that is two blocks from my store. No excuse about not going. I have to walk past it to get home.

I couldn't wait to get online and send a Tweet to Jen over at PriorFatGirl to tell her! I wanted to let her know how motivating she is (100 lbs lost in 2 years!) and how reading her blog has motivated me to get off the couch again and kick my fat jeans to the dumpster! I became lazy this past year and let 20 pounds creep on to my bones. It took a couple weeks of reading Jen's blog to realize how much I missed the gym and personal training and weightlifting.

I logged in to Twitter and Blogger only to find horrible news:

Jen's mom had been killed in a terrible accident over the weekend. She was walking in her neighborhood and was struck by a car backing out of a driveway.

Keep Jen in your thoughts. She is hurting.

"...let's waste time chasing cars around our heads..."

2009-07-17T15:40:00.000-07:00

I'm an aggressive driver.

I'm really tough on my car.

I don't get her serviced enough. I don't get the tires rotated or buy new tires when I should. I don't get the oil changed when I should. I never have any washer fluid.

This is Angie pretty much every night during a Pittsburgh winter.

(She's sitting there waiting for me to get off work, dust her off and drive her home and tuck her in her car port.)

You can see where this is going.

After driving poor Angie around for months while a red temperature gauge light would come on and beep at me, Jason finally told me I had to park her or risk "blowing a head gasket" - whatever the fuck that means.

An initial investigation revealed that I was leaking coolant. Apparently this is a bad sign. Further investigation showed I had a broken water pump. Another bad sign, I'm told. (I'm a girl. It's not in my genes to just naturally know these things.)

Replacing a water pump (and a timing belt, a thermostat and coolant lines since you're "gonna be in there fixing stuff anyway") runs about $1000-$1200 dollars at a mechanic.

Luckily, my Jason is mechanically inclined and told me "buy the kit to fix it all and I'll do it."

$280ish is much better than $1200.

And I got to watch Jason shirtlessly and sweatily dismantle the inner-workings of my car for 5 hours yesterday. Clearly, I am the winner in more ways than one in this scenario.

He's my knight in shining armor in a lot of ways already. Now I can add "personal mechanic" to that list.

Angie is now back to her old self. And I'm under oath to alert Jason to beeping gauges immediately from now on, lest I should blow a head gasket.

"One and one and one is three..."

2009-07-14T10:33:00.000-07:00

Setting: My house last night. We just finished dinner. Jason is keeping me company while I unload the dishwasher.

PT: I have too much silverwear.
Jason: Yeah you always have clean forks now!
PT: I do... but, um, promise me something?
Jason: What?
PT: Please don't ever buy me silverwear again for Christmas...
Jason: Trust me, I won't.

::end scene::

He's a good, loving man full of practicality.... and bought me lovely flatwear for Christmas last year since there never seemed to be a clean fork in my house when he came over for dinner. Very thoughtful, that gift.

"....when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me..."

2009-07-09T13:42:00.000-07:00

My poor blog is getting to be so neglected.

*sigh*

It's been a rough week.

I had a little existential crisis Tuesday night that involved alot of weepiness and emo-riffic bleatings like "But nothing I do matters!" and "I'm not making the world a better place!"

I had had a particularly vile day at work and, just to add to that fun, my period had started earlier that afternoon.

Were it not for the quiet strength of Jason, I don't know that I would have calmed down enough that night to sleep.

It's nice to have someone to just hold you and rub your head when you're being irrationally emotional. At this point in our relationship, he knows there's nothing he can say to stop my mind from racing with ridiculous thoughts from time to time. He knows I, like everyone, just has to let those dark thoughts out sometimes so I can get passed the negativity.

On Saturday, Jason and I will have been together for a year. It feels both like the blink of an eye and like a lifetime that we have been together. It has been hard and easy, complicated and simple, fragile and strong...

...More than anything it has been loving and healthy and gentle.

Below is my favorite picture of us, taken at the opening party of one of my company's new shops.

:-D

"...I read the news today, oh boy..."

2009-07-03T07:34:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a month since I've even looked at my blog.

Auntie Susan was starting to wonder if I had run off and joined the circus while I was in Hilton Head. Oh, how grand that would be!

I figure rather than just doing a random rant post, I should write an update post of random things that have happened while I was ignoring my blog.

I feel listy today rather than narrative-y. So here we go.

1. Vacation was wonderful.

2. I'm still getting over a sinus infection I got while on vacation. *cough, sneeze, wheeze*

3. Two weeks ago, Jason and I had to get a feral cat put to sleep. This kitty made Jason's shed its home and while we tried to feed it and get it medical care, it was best to have kitty put to sleep according to the Animal Rescue League because it had feline AIDS. I was a basketcase when we had to hand the kitty over to the vet and I still tear up when I think about kitty. :-(

4. Jason is making delightful progress on his house.

5. On a recent trip to Ikea, Jason told me he wanted to make the spare room in his house into a dressing room for me. When I'm ready, he's going to turn the whole room into a closet for me. This is the best thing I've ever heard. No more worrying about what'll happen to my beloved girlie stuff like my dressing table and bedazzled artwork.

6. I'm failing miserably on my goal of running regularly. I'm running the Great Race in Pgh in September. I hope to god I can train enough to do the 10K.

7. I hate to say it, but I really don't feel devistated that Michael Jackson is gone. Yes, it's sad. Yes, I wonder what'll happen to his children. But I was born like 5 yrs too late to really identify with MJ's contributions to the music industry. I was like 4 when Thriller came out.

It's kinda sad that after a month, that's really all I have to report.

*shrugs*

Happy 4th of July! Those of you lucky enough to have a long weekend or at least the day off on the 4th, enjoy it and drink beer and light sparklers on my behalf!

"...I can only tell you what I know, that I need you in my life..."

2009-06-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

I've been completely neglecting my blog and my blog reading list this week. And I've missed my blog and my blog friends! Hi everyone!

I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow morning. Helllooooo 5 days off from work! Helllooooo 5 days in Hilton Head! The only thing that would make it better is if Jason were coming with me. I'm going to miss him. (Sidenote: Can I just say how nice it's going to be to have him drop me off at and scoop me up from the airport? I've never had that before. Any time I've gone on vacation in the past few years, my family has already been at the destination and I fly down to meet them if I can get the time off which means I get myself to and from the airport via public transportation. No help with bags. No kiss goodbye. But not this time around!)

Anywho. A stressful work week and some fun social things have kept me busy.

Friday night, Fashionista0921 and I went to the Urban Garden Party at the Mattress Factory. The theme was "backstage rocker chic." Since I am not of the mini-skirt wearing variety, I figured I could punk things up by wearing ridiculous makeup.

Behold my eyelashes. (And the horrible blue tile of my bathroom.)

Add in lots of eyeliner, teased hair pulled back in a mess ponytail, slutty red lipstick and voila! Instant street cred.

It was a fun party full of hot people, potato vodka and delicious food from places around the 'Burgh. If any of you non-Pittsburgh-dwelling readers ever visit our fine city of champions, a trip to the Mattress Factory is a must. I love installation art and this place does it really, really well.

Last night Jason and I went to a picnic at the house of friends of ours for dinner and dessert. It was nice to catch up with them and chat and laugh into the wee hours.

That pretty much sums things up. It was nice to have time with friends this week. It has been seriously lacking in my life lately.

And this time tomorrow, I will be cooling my piggies in the sand with my family and the dogs.

Have a good week everyone! Catch you later!

"...What do you say to taking chances..."

2009-06-10T07:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Fashionista0921 and I had a conversation this morning about something I'm on the fence about (something, hopefully soon, I'll be able to tell you all about.)

Fashionista told me, "I would take the chance. If I've learned anything, I've learned I should take more chances. Take the chance."

She's so right. Honestly, taking a chance... diving in.... just DOING something.... it never turns out as horribly as we imagine it might, you know? It's the chance-taking itself that is the scary part. The thing we took the chance on to do generally turns out ok.

And if it doesn't turn out ok, well, fix it. I always tell friends that it's rare that something you do in life cannot be undone if you're unhappy about the outcome.

Took a chance on a relationship and it turned out badly? Get out of it.

Working towards a degree you now hate? Change your career path.

Life is much more forgiving than we think.

So if given the opportunity... I'm gonna take the chance.

Thank you for the perspective, dear Fashionista0921!

"...you make me sick..."

2009-06-07T10:44:00.000-07:00

How fucked up is this?

An article from CNN by Theresa Tamkins:

This year, an estimated 1.5 million Americans will declare bankruptcy. Many people may chalk up that misfortune to overspending or a lavish lifestyle, but a new study suggests that more than 60 percent of people who go bankrupt are actually capsized by medical bills.

Expert: "Medical bills ... are an issue that can very easily and in pretty short order overwhelm a lot families."

Bankruptcies due to medical bills increased by nearly 50 percent in a six-year period, from 46 percent in 2001 to 62 percent in 2007, and most of those who filed for bankruptcy were middle-class, well-educated homeowners, according to a report that will be published in the August issue of The American Journal of Medicine.

"Unless you're a Warren Buffett or Bill Gates, you're one illness away from financial ruin in this country," says lead author Steffie Woolhandler, M.D., of the Harvard Medical School, in Cambridge, Mass.

"If an illness is long enough and expensive enough, private insurance offers very little protection against medical bankruptcy, and that's the major finding in our study."

Woolhandler and her colleagues surveyed a random sample of 2,314 people who filed for bankruptcy in early 2007, looked at their court records, and then interviewed more than 1,000 of them.

They concluded that 62.1 percent of the bankruptcies were medically related because the individuals either had more than $5,000 (or 10 percent of their pretax income) in medical bills, mortgaged their home to pay for medical bills, or lost significant income due to an illness. On average, medically bankrupt families had $17,943 in out-of-pocket expenses, including $26,971 for those who lacked insurance and $17,749 who had insurance at some point.

Overall, three-quarters of the people with a medically-related bankruptcy had health insurance, they say.

"That was actually the predominant problem in patients in our study -- 78 percent of them had health insurance, but many of them were bankrupted anyway because there were gaps in their coverage like co-payments and deductibles and uncovered services," says Woolhandler. "Other people had private insurance but got so sick that they lost their job and lost their insurance."

However, Peter Cunningham, Ph.D., a senior fellow at the Center for Studying Health System Change, a nonpartisan policy research organization in Washington, D.C., isn't completely convinced. He says it's often hard to tell in which cases medical bills add to the bleak financial picture without being directly responsible for the bankruptcies.

"I'm not sure that it is correct to say that medical problems were the direct cause of all of these bankruptcies," he says. "In most of these cases, it's going to be medical expenses and other things, other debt that is accumulating."

Either way, he agrees that medical bills are an increasing problem for many people.

"I think medical bills are something that a lot of families are having a lot of difficulty with and whether it's the direct cause of bankruptcy or whether it helps to push them over the edge because they already were in a precarious financial situation, it's a big concern and hopefully that's what medical reform will try to address," he says.

The study may overestimate the number of bankruptcies caused by medical bills yet underestimate the financial burden of health care on American families, because most people struggle along but don't end up declaring bankruptcy, according to Cunningham.

"Bankruptcy is the most extreme or final step for people who are having problems paying medical bills," he says. "Medical bills and medical costs are an issue that can very easily and in pretty short order overwhelm a lot families who are on otherwise solid financial ground, including those with private insurance."

His group's research found that medical bills unduly stress 1 in 5 families.

Either way, the high cost of health care is a problem that's probably getting worse for people in the United States, particularly since the economic picture became grimmer after the study was conducted.

"The recession didn't happen until a year after our study," says Woolhandler. "We're quite sure that the problem of bankruptcy overall is worse, the numbers have been soaring, and the number this year is expected to be higher than it was before Congress tightened bankruptcy eligibility in 2005."

In 2005, bankruptcies peaked at two million filings.

"...when the stars make you drool just like pasta fagioli..."

2009-06-04T12:53:00.000-07:00

Not fun: Mean consumers who force my hand and turn me into a bitch. We'll leave it at that.

Fun: An email from the Jason telling me he's making me baked fish and risotto for dinner. Awww.

Proof that you gotta take the bad with the good.

"...all will be well even though sometimes this is hard to tell..."

2009-06-03T14:35:00.001-07:00

It is a poopy, rainy day here in Pittsburgh. It really has been raining since the time I opened my eyes this morning.

Three positive things today:

1. It's a slow day here in the store, so I cleaned. A clean store = things looking sparkly and me actually getting exercise during the work day from all the up and down action on the step stool.

2. Jason came by to bring me lunch (grilled cheese on wheat) and then he came back to bring me a snack (fruit on the bottum yogurt.) He's such a good apple.

3. This third thing is a positive, but it's irritating me more than anything. I'm by myself from 10-8 everyday in the store, which means when I have to pee, I have to put a sign on the door that says "back in a moment" and lock the door. And since I've upped my water intake as of late to stay hydrated since I'm running more, I pee like, 5 times during the work day. Doing the "I gotta pee" prance to the front of the store to put up the sign and lock the door and do the prance to the back of the store to go pee is like a 5k when I have to tinkle!

Ugh.

Anyway.

Happy Hump Day!

"...where soul meets body..."

2009-06-02T16:39:00.000-07:00

This is it - the summer push to lose the ten pounds that plague me these days.

I'll never be teeny tiny. I don't want to be teeny tiny. And to be honest, I love food too much to be a person who's skinny because she doesn't eat.

But the picture of my soul doesn't match the picture of my body anymore.

I just want to get rid of the chub. So that soul meets body. That's all.

Now if I can just get through the first couple days of bad-food-detox (you know what I'm talking about.)

::PT wanders off to get another bottle of water out of the work fridge in an effort to drown her snack cravings...::

"...you may say I'm a dreamer... but I'm not the only one..."

2009-06-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

On Sunday morning, a doctor who preforms abortions at his clinic was killed in church by an anti-abortion activist.

His clinic is in Wichita, Kansas - one of the few places left in the US where late-term abortions are preformed.

This post is not meant to debate abortions - late-term or otherwise.

It is meant to make the point that this man lived his life to serve the medical needs of women. During his career, his clinic was bombed, he was shot in both of his arms and his neighborhood was papered with anti-abortion literature.

As a student of feminist theory and a hardcore feminist myself, it's rare to find a man who so completely understands the medical rights of women the way this man did.

I am sad and scared. And I can only hope that this doctor's murder does not reignite the same anti-abortion violence that flared up in the 1990's.

"...we'll run away together, we'll spend some time forever..."

2009-05-29T09:17:00.000-07:00

Our little jaunt to the Laurel Highlands was lovely.

It was peaceful and quiet.

We sat on a porch swing and drank coffee.

We hiked in the woods in Ohiopyle.

We visited Fallingwater.

We got drunk at a brewery in Deep Creek, MD while watching the Penguins win the Eastern Conference Championship. We were the only people there.

For breakfast, I had my first ever sausage and country gravy over biscuits. Jason was in disbelief that I'd never had this delicacy before. ("Are you kidding? WHY?") I had my reservations but it was delicious and honestly, I'll eat anything he cooks for me.

The more I'm with Jason, the more I realize how much quiet moments mean to me. A usual vacation for me involves running around from morning til night and being dog-tired when I get back home.

Now I realize that I can actually just laze around for three days and be just as happy. I wasn't even (that) panicky that there wasn't cell phone reception where we stayed Wednesday night. I WAS OFF THE GRID FOR 14 HRS AND SURVIVED!

:-D

"...feels like home to me..."

2009-05-25T08:49:00.000-07:00

My Pap-Pap was a soldier in WWII. He served in Europe ("We'd be in Germany and they'd tell us, 'Wake up! You're walking to Croatia today!'") and the Pacific.

He died from lung cancer when I was 8. I wish I had a picture in digital form to share with all of you. He was tall and broad shouldered with thick black hair and bright blue eyes - a Croat through and through. In he and Gram's wedding picture, he looks like a handsome movie star.

I think about him often and wish he was still alive for many reasons. Given that my college career involved alot of talk about warfare and WWII war theory, I know we would have had alot to talk about had he lived to see me as an adult.

I've asked my dad throughout the years if Pap talked much about the war. Dad said that he never talked about the bad stuff, only the good stuff - the people he met, the things he saw - but even then, the stories were few and far between.

One night years and years ago as we were sitting around after a family dinner, drinking after-dinner drinks and sipping coffee, my dad told a story Pap had told him about being in Croatia.

I won't do this story justice. I'm not a storyteller like my dad and Pap. And I'm already starting to get teary-eyed. But here we go...

Pap lied about his age to enlist in the army. He was only 17. He shipped out to Europe and spent alot of time in Croatia. He knew little Croatian because his mother, an immigrant who came to the US from Croatia at the age of 5, insisted that all of her 8 children speak only English so they'd fit in.

A kid himself, Pap was a favorite with the young Croat guys in the villages the American soldiers went to to pass out aid. Pap's company of soldiers stayed in this one town by Zagreb for about a week. Pap was able to communicate to the group of Croat teenagers that he was Croatian and that his mom was from this area but left to come to America when she was very small.

The Croat boys asked what his family name was and what his mother's name was. Pap told them. They raced off and Pap went back to his duties.

The next day, Pap's company was to leave for their next post. The Croat boys came to see him and told him that he had to go with them to see something. Nervous, Pap followed the boys down a dirt path in the village to an old shack. They told him to go in, go see the old lady who lives there.

The tiny old lady, sitting by herself on a dirt floor looked up and sized Pap up with her blue eyes. It was his maternal grandmother. Thrown together by war, my Pap and my great-great-great Grandma PT were able to meet.

The story is so heartbreakingly beautiful and when my father tells it, as I often ask him to do, there is never a dry eye in the house when he gets to the end.

Happy Memorial Day, everyone. I hope you and your families have a beautiful story to tell today.

"...let the pious rise above, we'll go down in our sweet love..."

2009-05-24T08:52:00.000-07:00

Jason and I are finally going away for a few days. I'm working today and tomorrow (Happy Memorial Day!) and I'll be off Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. It feels so decadent.

And I'm really excited to be taking a little trip. It's nothing big - just a short jaunt to a friend's cabin by Fallingwater. Mostly the Fallingwater house tour and some vineyard tours are the only thing on the menu, aside from lots of sleep and runs by the lake and late mornings in bed.

But I'm also terrified about being away from work. I haven't taken time off in over a year. I definately need it but there's a horrible fear I have that like, I'm going to get a "YOU SCREWED UP! GET BACK HERE NOW OR YOU'RE FIRED!" phone call from the powers that be.

Jason made a good point when I expressed these fears to him:

"Well, you shouldn't worry. You have all of your things done. And besides, the cabin is completely out of cell phone range for AT&T customers. So they can try to call you all they want while you're off. Your phone will never ring."

HA!

::PT dances around like the Peanuts characters in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special::

"...it was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin'-purple-people-eater..."

2009-05-19T10:07:00.000-07:00

Let me just say that my outfit this morning is a hot mess. In a really, terribly bad way.

Let's just do a head-to-toe rundown of what I'm wearing...

Huge square silver filiagree earrings, I'm talking 2inches in diameter (in addition to the 2nd and 3rd whole earrings I always have on.) Huge silver Barton Perreira sunglasses on my head. Pink Cardigan over a white dress and black leggings. Ginormous silver and druzy stone ring on the left hand, my great-aunt's wedding ring on my right ring finger (never taken off since the day she died three years ago) and chunky silver bangle on the right wrist.

And, wait for it... bedazzled gladiator sandals.

So far a few people who see me on the regular have seen me today and the general reaction has been "What the balls are you wearing?"

Let's just say the accessorizing may be over the top today compared to my usual style.

Hot. Mess.

I actually jangle when I walk. I'll admit that it secretly thrills me. :-D

"...I thought of you and where you'd gone and the world spins madly on..."

2009-05-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

I've been a reader of Lemon Gloria for about a year.

She just lost her dad. When I read her post about it this morning, I started to leak weepy, sad tears - the kind of tears that just keep coming out no matter how much you try to blot them away with your Kleenex. And I know there are countless invisible friends of Lisa's who are doing the same thing right now.

My parents came to visit yesterday and I'll admit that I was really ready for them to leave when they left.

After they left, I told Jason that I love them so deeply but get so irritated by them sometimes (and I'm sure I'm loved and irritate them in much the same way.)

I can't imagine my life without them. They are, to this day, the glue that keeps me together when I'm falling apart. My dad is always a quiet force of strength and reason who helps me compartmentalize. And my mom is the one who turns into an emotional wreck with me when I'm an emotional wreck.

And at the age of 26, I'm terrified at the thought of facing a world in which my parents are no longer with me.

"...well shake it up baby (shake it up baby) twist and shout..."

2009-05-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again... if men suffered from menstrual cramps, working-men world-wide would get 3-7 days off from work every month to lay in bed and nurse their aching, twisting, shouting innards.

This is not to say that I hate being a woman or hate menstruation. Quite the opposite really. Being that I'm now of that "perfect age for baby-making" (25-28 for true ovum quality, so I hear) I'm like, weepy when I see babies and like to hold peoples' babies and think about how I really just might want to be a mom after all.

I could just do without the horrible cramps is all.

I'm just sayin'.

"...and I, I love it when you give me things..."

2009-05-12T13:47:00.000-07:00

There's a new, shiny key on my keyring today - that big gold one on the left.

And it unlocks Jason's front door.

And that's all I have to say about that.

::PT giggles, scampers off to Jason's house::

"...and I'll follow you into the dark..."

2009-05-11T07:43:00.000-07:00

Jason moved into his house this weekend.

Much can be said about it and him. But I think a small anecdote (i.e. - long and winded, like everything PT writes) will sum things up...

The front of his house has a porch with a shingled roof and a tiny bird's nest is now at home in one corner of the roof. When you walk out of the front door and onto the porch you can see the nest perched between a support beam and the underside of the roof. We'd noticed for a few days that the nest has been getting bigger, but we'd never see Mama Bird.

Friday as we were moving things, I flung the front door open and shuffled outside to get another box out of Jason's truck and Mama Bird was there! Of course, I scared the stuffing out of her and she flew off with an angry chirp.

I scared her again Saturday morning when I again flung open the door and rushed outside when I left for work.

I was home for the weekend to be with my family and came back late last night.

I went to Jason's house and when I walked up to the front porch I was quiet so Mama Bird wouldn't get pissed off. Once I was inside, I looked out to see if she was in her nest. And she was! She didn't get scared!

I ran up the steps (his house is a split level - the living area is all upstairs) and told Jason how excited I was that Mama Bird wasn't afraid of me anymore.

He, who had gone out for beers with friends and was on clearly the other side of sober, excitedly started to tell me that all day Saturday and Sunday, he opened and closed the screen door on the porch a bunch of times and talked to the bird so she'd get used to us. And now, he was proud to annouce, she doesn't fly away when he goes onto the porch.

We went downstairs so that he could demonstrate. And sure enough, he talked to her and opened the door a few times and she just sat on her eggs and watched him. He looked at me with a big goofy, satisfied grin and with a high five, we went back upstairs.

You all know by now that I'm overly sentimental about a lot of things.

But the fact that my boyfriend spent time acclimating Mama Bird to the sound of his footstep and his voice is something I find so overwhelmingly endearing that I'm sitting here getting a bit teared up just thinking about it.

He is kind and gentle. And his house and the remodeling he has done are a perfect physical representation of the peaceful way he lives his life. That I get to be a part of it fills me up with good feelings.

"...Food glorious foooooood..."

2009-05-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

[Source]

A great Pittsburgh tradition each summer is the Greek Food Festivals at various churches throughout the city.

Known to my circle of peeps as the "Summer Greek Food Circuit," the goal is to go to as many of these festivals as possible and load up on gyros, spanakopita and tiropita and these deep fried donut hole looking things that are coated in honey. We call them "honey balls" not because we are culturally insensitive to the Greek language but because our WASPy tongues literally can't say the word for these things ("Loukoumades" - we try to say it like the Greek ladies do, really we do. But it all falls apart after the "looookoooo" part. Fail.)

But I digress.

There are eleven of these festivals from May until September and one "Greek Day at Kennywood" (Kennywood is our local version of a Six Flags-type roller coaster park.)

This week marks the start of the Summer Greek Food Circuit. The first one is my favorite and has the best food. St. Nick's in Oakland is like, the Godfather of the Summer Greek Food Circuit. It's seriously that good. And thousands of people show up for it. It's crazy expensive (you can expect to kiss $20 bucks goodbye for a fancy Greek Food lunch) but it's so worth it.

While I always went to the St Nick's Festival, I never really new about the whole circuit til last year. A few friends brought me into their foodie circle and the rest is history.

The Summer Greek Food Circuit holds an extra special place in my heart for two reasons. One, because of the amazing food and the friendship element that goes along with it. And two, because I got to be around Jason alot during those festivals we went to last year with mutual friends before we were together as a couple. (Ahh the memory of car-pooling to the festival in Oakmont, cramed into a backseat next to Jason, trying not to look at him and blush.)

You can imagine how awkward this was. Jason was very shy around me and didn't say much. I, like every other girl who is around a guy she likes, was caught between my insatiable desire to hoover up Greek food but still look dainty and not eat around the guy she liked. Oh it makes me angsty just thinking about it! And I'm with him now! It still makes my heart race when I think about how we were when we were still pretending we didn't like either other in a naughty way.

I mentioned the Summer Greek Food Circuit to Jason last week. All I'll say is that he two has a special place in his heart for the circuit for the same two reasons.

This year, we'll be enjoying the honey balls while sitting next to each other as a couple, not as two awkward retards who were too old to be acting like shy teenagers last year.

Yay honey balls and love prevailing over social awkwardness!

"...so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts..."

2009-05-02T14:19:00.000-07:00

You readers out there are smart so I'm sure you've noticed that I use song lyrics as post titles.

So when I saw this fun survey on the Facebook today, I had to partake.

Here it is. It was hard!

Using only song titles from ONE ARTIST, answer these questions.

Pick Your Artist: Tori Amos

Are you male or female: Cornflake Girl

Describe yourself: Happy Phantom

How do you feel about yourself: Silent All These Years

Describe where you currently live: Floating City

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Little Amsterdam

Your best friends are: Snow Cherries from France

Your favorite color is: Liquid Diamonds

What's the weather like: Cool on Your Island

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?: A Sorta Fairytale

What is life to you: Love Song

What is the best advice someone has given you: I'm Not Stupid

If you could change your name, what would it be?: Ophelia

Your favorite food is: Pancake

Your job is: The Beekeeper

"...I don't know what to believe in you don't know who I am..."

2009-05-02T08:43:00.000-07:00

I'm a firm believer that the hardest growing pains to endure are not the ones you have when you're a teenager. It's the ones you have in your 20's that are the worst.

When you have those first growing pains, you're around people who've known you your whole life. And that makes it easier. Because they all know the real you and know that you're just going through a poopy-pants phases.

When you're in your 20's, you're mostly surrounded by people you haven't really known forever. You may have one or two friends that have known you since your awkward years but for the most part, your friends are someone you met in college or someone you currently work with. And the person you're currently dating is probably not someone who was around when you went through those embarrassing "I want curly hair so I'm going to get a perm" phases.

And while these people are all people you can't imagine not having in your life, part of you wonders if all of those things you went through before you met them (losing the v-card, first love, first heartbreak, frat parties, old hobbies you wish you still did, all those weekends going out clubbing and drinking, family struggles, etc) actually matter to these new people in your life.

I wonder these things alot lately.

I used to play tennis for about two hrs a day, everyday for four years in high school. Went I went to college, I still played every chance I could. After classes, on weekends, summers.

Tennis is only one example of something that was a huge part of my life that I don't do anymore.

This is all to say that I worry that I'm not a whole person with the new people in my life. I know friendships and relationships take time and that as you get to know someone, you start to reveal things about your past self that are important enough to talk about. I know all that.

...I'm just rambling at this point....

... It's just that I have this sick feeling that I'm on the verge of having some life-changing things happen to me soon and as such the verbal diarrhea tends to come in waves....

But to end on a happy note, Jason finished up work on his house early yesterday and had me take him to play tennis. It was nice and it awakened my overwhelming desire to be a competitive tennis player again.

Fashionista0921 and I will be going to a tennis clinic tomorrow in an effort to reclaim pieces of ourselves that we both actually have lost.

Maybe the playing tennis yesterday is what has me thrown off of my rotational axis.

"...wasting my time in the waiting line..."

2009-04-30T08:43:00.000-07:00

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Isn't it funny that when you're waiting for something to happen or waiting to hear news or waiting for the day you leave for vacation time seems to pass SO SLOWLY?

And then when the moment you've been waiting for finally comes, you worry that you're actually going to puke because all you've been consumed with for the past how ever many days is this moment. And you worry you're going to lose your composure. And that the moment is going to overwhelm you.

Yeah, that's where I'm at right now. Feelin' kinda barfy with anticipation.

*wrings hands*

"...do you know for you I'd bleed myself dry, for you I'd bleed myself dry..."

2009-04-28T07:23:00.000-07:00

You know what sucks?

Adult acne. Seriously. What I wouldn't give for clear, perfect skin again. As if it's not bad enough I'm fighting off rosacea, I have to deal with adult acne too? The rosacea is kept at bay with vigilance and a strict skin care routine. And unless I drink red wine, it's imperceptible to everyone but me.

But these zits? Red and lumpy and itchy. It never fails that when it gets hot and I get that greasy, sweaty summer skin for the first time of the season, my chin breaks out like there are freaking LANDMINES on it.

The irony is of course that if I use acne medicine or some sort of acne cream or cleanser from the drug store, it makes my rosacea turn into a total angerball. But the rosacea stuff is rarely oil-free which becomes a problem when it's hot because my skin gets oilier in the summer heat. So I literally have no way to treat the pimples. Just have to let them take their course.

Sara's skin used to be really oily. As did our mom's. Age 27ish was the time both of them started really drying out and had to start using luxurious, oily-packed, fancy skin creams. And neither of them ever got a zit again. So while I was panicked about turning 26 and being in my late 20's now, I'm really kinda looking forward to being 27 because of the genes.

And let's not even talk about the chin zits that accompany my period every month.

Omg it's so hard to be a girl.

"...I know we can make it if we take it slow..."

2009-04-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

This day has already been kinda brutally long. And there's still 5.5 hrs left of it.

Maybe it's the nice weather that's making me wish I wasn't here.

Maybe it's the fact that my Jason is home and I want to be with him...

Maybe it's something else (that I'm keeping to myself for the moment)...

Maybe it's because I actually feel like going out for a run...

Maybe it's because I want to get home and drink the delicious wine Jason brought back from his trip...

If I could leave work now, go run, shower up, go to Jason's and proceed to get drunk on wine at 5 o'clock then lay like a bum with him for the rest of the day, I'd be the happiest lady in the world.

Happy Monday everyone! Blargh!

"...Putting all the clothes you washed away..."

2009-04-26T09:12:00.000-07:00

JASON'S COMING HOME TODAY!

JASON'S COMING HOME TODAY!

JASON'S COMING HOME TODAY!

JASON'S COMING HOME TODAY!

It's been 10 days without him. And in those ten days, I did ALOT of laying around, alot of wine drinking, alot of working, alot of worrying, alot of thinking about the future and ALOT of laundry. Seven loads. And I'm still not done, but I put a big dent in it.

He just texted me. He'll be home in about 9 more hours.

I. CANNOT. WAIT.

When he first mentioned this trip, I wasn't really worried about missing him. I was more focused on him going and having a good time instead of how it would impact me. The day he left, I was a crying, weeping girl about it - after we said goodbye. I held it together and then later cried in my car. You know, like you do.

And sweet Jeebus, I've missed him so much that I really haven't been able to eat. (Emotional non-eater, you know.) Which, like, AWESOME - my pants fit better. And the Spanx I'm wearing under my sundress right now aren't quite as restricting.

But really, this non-eating is actually an indication to me that I can't live without him. Which I thought I knew before and now I'm even more sure of it.

I can't live without him.

"...You wanna stay warm and get outta the cold with me..."

2009-04-23T07:16:00.000-07:00

Ok seriously, what is WITH this crazy Pittsburgh weather?

It's 70 degrees one day and then it's 38 degrees the next morning. My poor daffodils are like "what the balls?"

The next day it'll be like 55 degrees but it will pour down rain and be windy, making it feel like it's about 30 degrees.

WHERE IS THE 80 DEGREE WARM WEATHER?

It's like summer decides it's here and then gets afraid of the commitment at the last minute and walks out on us for another week.

I WANT TO WEAR MY SUMMER CLOTHES.

I've been thinking alot about Italy this week.

This is one of my favorite moments from those two weeks there in 2006. It was at the beach on Sorrento at the Amalfi Coast.

My dad and I wandered around the town all night. Drinking beer, going into little shops, hiking down the hillsides to the beach. It was one of those days in a person's life that is just so full of meaning and love that sometimes when my dad and I talk about it, we seriously weep.

ALSO, IT WAS FUCKING WARM.

"...If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less, keep me in your heart for a while..."

2009-04-21T07:53:00.000-07:00

When I woke up this morning, I had the best text message of my life waiting for me.

And I'm keeping it all to myself.

:-D

"...if you love something let it go and if it comes back then that's how you know..."

2009-04-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

Hello my darling readers. Today, the amazing Fashionista0921, one of my dearest friends, is guest posting at here Peace Turkey. Lovely Fashionista is going through an incredible test of strength right now with her partner. Let's send lots of good vibes to her.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

How do you let go?

There’s a song out there that goes... “If you love something let it go and if it comes back then that’s how you know…”

I guess that’s how you know. It takes impeccable strength to let someone you love and care for so much go. Strength I never knew I even had.

This past week, I let him go- the love of my life, my soul mate, my future and my everything. I might sound crazy to you. I’ve only been in love once, with him. At the beginning, I was terrified to be in a relationship with him. Somehow I knew that this was him, the man I searched 23 years to find. I knew it from the first time we met, when he asked me if I needed a calculator to figure out my bill at lunch.

It took several months later for me to fall in love with him. He was leaving for a four-week trip to another country. We were sitting in his car in my driveway and I gave him a hug. At that moment, I knew I never wanted to let him go, ever.

But now, I’ve let go. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I let him go in hope that this love that what I find so true comes back around.

I don’t know what the future holds for me, for him, or for us, but I do know how I feel. No matter what happens, he will always be my best friend- the man I have always admired for his humor, heart and generous soul. Even though he broke my heart, I can’t help but smile and laugh because he makes me the happiest girl in the world.

"...we were passers on the street, I never thought we'd meet until you said 'how do you do, my love?'..."

2009-04-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

Here's a fun Sunday Morning story for all of you lovelies ...

I was off from work on Thursday. Sara had class til 6:30. I told her I'd pick her up at campus so she didn't have to take the bus.

She called at 6 to say she was out and I could come get her. The puppy was wound up so I decided rather than trying to get him in his crate, I'd take him for a car ride. So I put poochy in the passenger side and walked around to my side. He of course was sitting in my seat by the time I got to the drivers' side door.

I put my keys and my iPhone on the roof and wrestled him back into his seat. I held him there with one hand and reached up to grab my keys with the other. Just the keys. Not the phone.

And I drove off.

It wasn't until I got to campus that I realized what I had done. Of course the phone wasn't on the roof anymore.

So I retraced my route on the way home and told Sar to keep her eyes peeled.

We found my phone like 100 yards from our house. Of course, it had been run over. The irony is that the fucking thing still worked even though there was a weird grey bar on one side of the screen. I had three missed texts. Ha! But the screen is shattered into 1000 pieces of tiny, sharp glass.

So off I went to the Apple store. More irony: repairing the screen would have been more expensive than getting a new phone.

So I have a new phone. Hopefully this one won't meet the same fate.

Epic Fail.

"... from the shape of your shaved head I recognized your silhouette..."

2009-04-17T09:48:00.000-07:00

This morning as I was doing my usual Friday running around, I swore I saw Jason on his bicycle. Of course as I looked closer, I knew it wasn't him. Right after I saw this biker, Jason texted me. He had some Arby's for lunch and is currently driving through the Rocky Mountains.

He and a friend left from Pittsburgh yesterday at noon, headed to Moab via St. Louis where they met up with a few more guys to carpool in someone ginormous truck. He sent me this picture of the arch in St. Louis at midnight when they got there.

They'll get to Utah in about six more hours. Tomorrow morning, the dirtbiking in the desert will begin.

Honestly, I can't imagine driving an entire day and then some straight through like that. I'd be bat-shit crazy. I am not a peaceful passenger on long car rides. I usually can sleep through most of it. But once I'm awake and if I don't fall back asleep, I'm like that jumpy chick on the restless-leg-snydrome medication commercial. Can't sit still. At all. I'm convinced that only dudes are hardwired for this kind of trip.

I would love to go out west to see Moab and Yellowstone and all of those beautiful things on the other coast. I'd just need like an entire week of driving for a bit then stopping at bed and breakfasts along the way in order to get that accomplished.

I'm just sayin.

"...dear Jesus make me simple, strong as trees to sway..."

2009-04-15T08:53:00.000-07:00

I can't really get my mind together enough to get a full post out of my jumbled thoughts right now... so here are a few mind-droppings.

...A dear,dear friend of mine is going through a whole shit-ton of crap with her partner right now as I type this. In the end, he may no longer be her partner. She has been strong and beautiful and amazing through it all. And the rest of us can only hope to have the poise and grace she does were we to ever find ourselves in a similar situation.

...Jason is leaving for Utah tomorrow. For ten days to dirtbike in Moab with his friends. He will have a good time and I know he'll come back safely. I'll be missing him terribly.

...I am finally going to the craft store tomorrow to stock up on some supplies for fun projects that have been kicking around in my noggin for a while. I hope some of the ideas actually turn into good finished projects!

...A new clothes washer was delivered to my house yesterday. With Jason being gone and there being a functional washer again in my basement, I may finally FINALLY get my laundry completely done... for the first time in over a year. (Andrew - I will no longer be at risk for being trapped under an avalanche of dirty clothing!)

...I'm not one for praying, but there are several things I've been praying about lately - the most superficial of which is a prayer that the student loan people don't garnish my tax return. I just recently found out this can happen. The unrealistic $1300 a month loan payment is no where near what I can afford to pay per month. Which of course puts me on their hit list. As such... I'm now praying the tax return hits my checking account before AES can take it all in one lump sum. They're gonna get it all eventually anyway. Bastards. Amen.

...finally, hug someone or a bunch of someones and tell them you love them today. It seems like a good day to spread some love around.

[Source]

"...wave goodbye wish me well, you've gotta let me go..."

2009-04-11T07:35:00.000-07:00

I usually spend a fair amount of my Fridays off goofing around.

Running over to Jason's house seeing his progress.

Napping on the couch.

Going for a half-hearted run in Frick Park.

Regardless of what I do during the day, from late afternoon til the next morning I'm always with Jason. By then we're both finished doing whatever it was we had to do during the day and can goof off together without guilt for the remainder of the day.

Yesterday we didn't get to do this and I honestly felt like half of my heart was missing. I was angsty. I felt all discombobulated. I couldn't sleep. Even having two kitties in bed with me didn't help.

This is just to say that I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself when he leaves on Thursday to go to Moab with his buddies for ten days on a dirkbiking trip. I'm glad he's going. It's important that he spends time with his friends. I'm just gonna miss him terribly and worry about his safety the whole freaking time.

In September he went for a five day trip to West Virginia and that was pretty tough.

And at that point we'd only been officially together for three months. At this point, we're creeping up on officially a year together.

I'm trying not to think about it.

::breathes into paper bag::

"...of course I'll be alright, I just had a bad night..."

2009-04-08T08:54:00.000-07:00

I finally got to spend some nice time with Jason yesterday since I was off and my only real commitment was a doctors appointment.

Between him being in overdrive working on his house and me with my always crazy work hours, we were apart much more than usual over the weekend.

Last night we had a big date at Ikea. We're such rebels!

Now the awkward part is that it's his house he's working on. It's not ours. It's his. He bought it. We don't live together. The topic has never been brought up. I can see it happening in the future, to be sure. But for now, it's his house.

We went to Ikea because he needs countertops. And I kind of dread when he needs the help of a sales associate only because, as sales associates are want to do, they focus on the woman because they know if you sell the woman, the man will follow.

...His house. Not ours...

So the counter top specialist put his pitch to me and not Jason. I honestly felt bad because one, I had to feign disinterest in order to get the guy to put the focus back on Jason and two, the specialist ended the pitch with "come on, honey, this is fun! Get interested!"

Awkward.

Jason is thankfully not ruffled by these kind of things like I am. I'm all "now that guy thinks I'm a bitch and you probably think I don't care what your house looks like." And he's all "That guy was really chatty. I hope the Ikea cafeteria is still open, I could MASSACRE some Swedish Meatballs!"

Ironically enough, I'm sitting here today waiting for Ikea to fax over custom countertop estimates to me since I have a fax.

Also of note from the Ikea trip: Jason got me one of their mini blue Ikea totes. So. Cute. And only $0.49!!

In closing, here are two of my favorite pictures of the house so far.

I love the boldness of the goldenrod color in the living room.

And how amazing is this bathroom sink???? And the tile work!

(Yes, he does all of this himself. Plumbing, plastering, drywalling, wiring, floor refinishing. I'll ask him what he did during his day and he'll be all "I refinished the hardwood floor in the master bedroom and installed the kitchen cabinets." And I'll be like "wow, you're hot and amazing." And he'll be all "what did you do?" And I'll be all "I checked my email 1000 times and played on facebook.")

"...lift up your shirt, the wound isn't there..."

2009-04-06T14:46:00.000-07:00

[Source]

I had a really shitty, profane post written out about what a foul mood I'm in today. But then I found this picture online and decided to delete what I had written and allow Mr. Grumpy Cloud here do the talking for me.

I figure it would spare everyone from reading a cranky blog post.

Happy Monday! Blargh!

"...you're the only sense the world has ever made..."

2009-04-01T14:13:00.000-07:00

I hate to be one of those people who talks about her boyfriend more than she probably should...

...ok I'll be honest, I like being one of those people. I know it irks singletons. It always irked me when I was single. But I have been single my whole life. And I truly used to be Sex and the City's Charlotte York when she had her "I've been dating since I was 13! I'm exhausted! WHERE IS HE?!" meltdown. I have had quite enough horrible first dates and blind dates in my time. I feel as though that entitles me to a little unbridled happiness about having Jason in my life. This is not to say that I'm a happy, shmappy "nothing is ever wrong and we'll be happy together forever and ever" person either.

Anyway.

Over the weekend I went home to see my parents. My mom and I were running errands together. I mentioned to my mother that the bf and I were planning on going to Lancaster, PA for a nerd-o-rific weekend of brewery and vineyard tours in good ol' Amish Country. (Kinda lame, yes. But it's close by, it'll be cheap and there will be alot of drinking and lazing about.)

Now, a note about Shirl: Tough when it comes to her kiddles. Always has been. And is definitely one of those "are you good enough for my sweet, beautiful, perfect Peace Turkey? Are you? ARE YOU?!" moms.

Anyway.

I mentioned this trip to her with the kind of trepidation a daughter usually reserves for when she tells her mother she is like, failing out of school or is shaving her head and is going to join a gang....

....Hilarity ensued as I drove down the road towards our next stop at Target:

PT: So what do you think about that?
Shirl: Oh how nice! Your father and I had such a nice time there at the vineyard we went to.
PT: *blank stare*
Shirl: Really, it'll be nice.
PT: [still full of trepidation] Yeah, I know. I liked it when we all went there one summer...
Shirl: And you know, your father just bought that conversion van for our drive to Hilton Head with the dogs and your sister in July. You and Jason should take the van when you go away.
PT: *picks jaw up off of dashboard* Ok. Thanks, Ma.

"...I guess we'll just have to adjust..."

2009-03-29T19:26:00.000-07:00

Readers of this little pink blog may recall my confession about being addicted to gossip blogs. Whilst browsing my blog of choice the other day, I came across the trailer for Spike Jonze's film adaptation of Maurice Sendak's "Where the Wild Things Are."

Now, as the daughter of a school librarian and the sister of a university librarian I can tell you that it is not common for members of the PT family to give much consideration to movies adapted from books. The book is, as you all know, always better.

And in the case of a children's book, the truth is there just often isn't enough plot to make the book into a full feature movie without completely compromising the heart of the book. And "Where the Wild Things Are" is particularly close to our family. And it is the bread and butter of my mothers' story time for her kindergarten classes at the beginning of each school year. (And because Shirl is Shirl, the reading is then complimented with a craft that involves construction paper and a paper plate that when it's finished is the mask Max wears. Because she's amazing and brilliant.)

I watched the trailer for "Where the Wild Things Are" with the expectation that I'd be rolling my eyes by the end.

That wasn't the case. But I will tell you the reason I think I'll actually go see this movie is because of the amazing Arcade Fire song used in the trailer. See for yourself and try to tell me you didn't get a little teary-eyed.

And here is the full song, preformed live by these amazing musicians. Ahhh the power of music...

"...Mama said there'd be days like this..."

2009-03-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

The older I get and the more asshole, bastard, douchebag and downright mean strangers I come in contact with, the more I appreciate what a good job my parents did when they raised me.

This is not to say that I'm a perfect daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend, employee. I'm not. I know this. But all the years of getting talked to and getting reminded of how to be a kind and decent and compassionate person were, I realize now, critically important.

My parents always taught me that one, no one has to put up with my shit and two, everyone should be treated fairly. So simple. So basic. But so, so fundamentally important.

I'm not sweet and gentile all of the time. This blog is a testament to that. I whine and complain and generally carry on when I'm stressed out or pissed off.

But never in my life, ever, have I treated someone who works in a shop or a Starbucks or a restaurant or as a bank teller or whatever as a second class citizen.

I see customers treating employees in the service industry like crap. And it honestly makes me want to give the employees a hug when it's my turn in line. I want to take their hand after someone just handed them their ass and say "I'm nice. Take your time." And it makes me want to say to the mean customer "Does your mother know how you treat people? What would she think?"

We're all people, people. We're people with feelings and shit going on and hard lives that some of us can't even imagine. So be nice. Be kind. Smile. Someone who is having a bad day might think of that smile from the nice girl in line at their coffee counter and forget about the assholes he or she had to face that day.

Joe and Shirl taught me that from day one.

"...sugar (do-do-do-do-do-do) ohhh honey honey you are my candy girl..."

2009-03-24T08:33:00.001-07:00

I've never been very good about sticking to an honest to god diet. For about two years, I was hard core about calorie restriction (1100 cal a day) and two hour workouts because I was hanging out with a friend who was the same way. I had a partner in crime. For one of those years, I was a heartbroken fucked up mess. Since I'm an emotional non-eater I would maybe force down a cookie and drink a bottle of pepsi. All day. Because of the heartbreak, you see. And then go lift weights for an hour and kill myself on the treadmill.

When I'm happy (as I am now) I'm all "Wee! Let's order a pizza! And make brownies for dessert! And skip the gym/post dinner walk!" Which is ironic since my parents are big emotional eaters. My sisters and I are the complete opposite.

Now, for as thankful as I am to be out of those dark days of "situational depression due to emotional stress," my fat ass and chubby thighs kind of long for the days two years ago when I was skinny mini. Yes, it was unhealthy. But damn, I was HOT for the first time in my life. Now I'm all soft and pudgy around the edges again. I don't have a six pack any more and my bras are a little tighter.

Which is not to say that I'm completely disgusted with the soft, pudgy bits. My boobs are certainly bigger now than they were when I was two sizes smaller. And the running is making the muscles wake up again and now in anticipation of the brownies I'll eat at night, I run three miles in the morning. I'm hoping the running benefits overtake the downfalls of the fatty snacks.

Honestly, exercising is a great way to still eat what you want and not feel guilty about it. If you run a 5K every morning, why the fuck should anyone tell you you don't deserve that chocolate milkshake?

And besides, I have a boyfriend who happens to like the soft, pudge covered muscles. How can you have both the muscle and the pudge if you don't go for a run and then drink a milkshake right?

I just want a little less pudge is all. Without losing the "full-B-cup-for-the-first-time-in-my-life" boobies again. It's not too much to ask for is it?

"... home, where my love lies waiting silently for me..."

2009-03-21T07:20:00.000-07:00

This morning while driving to work I caught the tail end of one of those personal stories on NPR about a girl who is stuggling with life right now. The part I heard involved her talking about a conversation with her father about moving home. Home, for her, being a farm in Maine.

I very nearly had to pull the car over to have a good cry.

I found myself saying the same thing to my dad earlier this week for various reasons. I was getting home from work very late and was in one of those "fuck it, I'm quitting my life here in the city and moving back home to the sticks" kind of moods.

Of course, on most days, I love my life in Pittsburgh. My house and my kitties and my manfriend and my running path in Frick Park and the access to fun things to do are almost always enough to make me happy when bad things happen.

But while driving home in the dark and crying into my phone, it took an enormous amount of strength for me to get my car to Point Breeze instead of home to my parents in Beaver County.

As a 26 year old woman, I know (when I'm rational) that home is never the same once you leave it. And that it's not healthy to want to run away when things are scary.

But it's nice to know, courtesy of the woman on NPR this morning, that I'm not the only grown-up who holds on to that idealized "my parents will make it ok" mentality once in a while.

That being said, I am off tomorrow and of course will be going home to spend the day with my parents. I made the "I need a hug from you, Ma" phone call this morning. My mom's response was, as always, "It'll be nice to have you. Send me an email about what you want for lunch and a snack and supper."

It's just for the day, but I can go home again.

"...you know you're my saving grace..."

2009-03-13T13:37:00.000-07:00

I have a fun story for you all. And I wish there was more photographic evidence. Those of you who haven't met me... this story might not be that funny. But here is a clue into the basic genetic makeup of PT: GIRLY GIRL. To a fault. Like, some people in my family have never seen me without mascara girly girl. Like, wear a skirt 6 days a week girly girl. Jason knows this but,bless his heart, doesn't ever let that keep him from trying to make me outdoorsy or handy. And he loves it when I get dirty. That, ironically, is when the girliest girly girl comes out. Somehow, he thinks it is endearing, not irritating...

Let us proceed.

Setting: Jason's basement where there is a workbench set up, some sort of powertool I've never seen before and a vice grip of some sort. There is a pile of old maple flooring from a skating rink in Latrobe laying in his driveway. (Craigslist - the original "reduce, reuse, recycle")

[Enter PT stage left.]

PT: Whatcha doin, Bun?
Jason: Setting this up so you can cut nails out of this maple wood. You can use this grinder.
PT: LOLZ.
Jason: No really.
PT: LOLZ.
Jason: I need 15 pieces for the bedroom closet. I'll refinish it when I refinish the floor in there.
PT: That'll look nice.
Jason: Yeah. So you're gonna take this grinder...
PT: LOLZ
Jason: And hold it at an angle and just sheer off the nail. It's easier than pounding the whole nail back through the board. See, like this.

[Red sparks fly as the metal grinder hits the metal nails.]

PT: *shriek*
Jason: Honestly the sparks aren't hot enough to do anything. You'll be fine.
PT: No.
Jason: No?
PT: No.
Jason: I'll get you some gloves.

[Jason wanders away, comes back with gloves. PT puts them and her "I'm scared" look on]

Jason: You're fine.... are you still afraid? Do you want a face shield?
PT: Mhm.

[Jason wanders away, comes back with a welder's mask looking thing]

Jason: Ok, you're all set. I'm gonna go back upstairs and lay the subfloor.

[Exit Jason stage right]

PT: [to herself] FUCK.

[PT somehow gets through the sheering of the nails off of the boards and carries all of the wood upstairs where Jason cleans out the grooves.]

Jason: You were very brave.
PT: It's a good thing I like you so much.

[End scene]

"...so run for cover just as fast as you can..."

2009-03-12T10:26:00.000-07:00

Look out, kids. I did a 5 k run yesterday for the first time since ohhh....June?

I must be honest, though and admit that about 1k of it was walking during a KILLER uphill part of the trail I run. And about 3k of it was slightly downhill. The other 1k was basically flat. But still, 5k is 5k right? Eventually I'll be able to run it all and do it in less than the 53 minutes (how embarassing) it took me yesterday. Translation: if I really stick with it this time, my ass and thighs will get small again and I'll be able to run farther, faster.

That being said, I am so sore right now I don't know whether to cry or scream. It is a good kind of sore though. That good "my core muscles hurt and my calves feel like lead" kinda sore.

Various reactions from friends and loved ones include:

Sara: Was someone chasing you?

Jason: You're gonna haz a sore tonight! ::PT notes that the Jason has completely integrated LOLCatSpeak into his lexicon. Teh pour deer. Mai LOLCat adicshun haz a rubbing off on himz.::

Sarah: Omg that sounds amazing!

Andrew: w00t!

"...workin' hard to get my fill, everybody wants a thrill..."

2009-03-03T08:17:00.001-08:00

I feel dull.

I've been working too much. Not sleeping enough. Not engaging in enough social activity. Not working out. Not going for runs. Not catching up with friends. Not being a supportive girlfriend, sister, daughter, friend.

Take last night for example: I worked til 9, drug myself home to change my clothes and then drug myself to Jason's where I promptly curled up on the couch next to him and fell asleep after giving him a kiss. Then around midnight, he woke me up and I drug myself upstairs to go to bed where I was instantly back to sleep.

So. Lame. We didn't even get to talk. And then this morning I got up at the crack of dawn, kissed Jason goodbye and left to start the whole process over again.

I'll chalk all of this up to a horrible case of seasonal affective disorder. And hope that it gets better when it's warm.

Blergh.

My "case of the Mondays" is a week long problem.

"...sign, sign, everywhere a sign..."

2009-03-01T12:22:00.000-08:00

Sara, our parents and I were walking down Walnut Street the other day.

We had just eaten a delicious breakfast at Pamela's and were heading to Starbucks before I went to work.

Something made our mom think of the scene in the movie Love Actually where the Portugese housekeeper jumps into the lake to save Colin Firth's novel.

Ma: "I can't belive that girl had a tattoo! She took her clothes off and right there on her lower back was a tattoo!"
Sara: "Tramp stamp."
Ma: "If I get skinny like that again, I'm getting one."
PT: "Yeahhh! I'll get one too! We can go together!"
Dad: "Nice."
Sar: "What would your tattoo be?"
Ma: (ever the librarian) "I dunno, a book?"
Sar: "It should say 'read.'"
PT: "LOLZ"
Dad: "I don't get it."

::End scene::

"...I feel pretty, oh so pretty..."

2009-02-24T11:49:00.000-08:00

[Source]

For Christmas, one of the gifts I got Jason was a gift certificate to my salon of choice in the Shadyside neighborhood of dear ole Pittsburgh. He's one of those "I cut my own hair" types (Translation: Once every few months, he mows it with clippers. It's both endearing and terrifying.)

So the use of that gift card wasn't meant for a haircut. No, no. That gift card is for the exact dollar amount of a manicure. Yeahhhhhh I'm that girlfriend. I'm makin' my man put the "man" back in "manicure."

Really though, I'm not trying to turn him into something he's not. I just want him to embrace things that are pampering. He is out in the cold alot, working on his house, hanging dry wall and doing all sorts of hot, manly things. And his hands are all sorts of dry and sore and chapped and cracking because of the hot, manly activities.

I sneak-attack him with hand cream when he's drifting off to sleep sometimes. And it makes me giddy with satisfaction.

You can imagine how pumped I am then that a few days ago Jason randomly texted me to ask "When are we getting our manicures?"

Um, what? Do my eyes deceive me? Did that text really ask what I think it did? And also, "we?" It's not often that I can justify paying for a manicure (a pedi is a different story) so I'm rocked at the prospect of not only JASON going for a manicure and not only ME going for a manicure (I suspect he wants me there for moral support), but US getting a manicure together. *SWOON*

It's so cute I actually just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Our appointment is for 5pm on Thursday. Stay tuned.

Update: I ended up working til 9pm. No manicure. :-(

"...pie, me oh my, I love pie..."

2009-02-21T11:07:00.000-08:00

I'm always off on Fridays and Fridays have become my days to cook. Like, seriously cook. Stews, casseroles, baked goods. The baked goods always turn out well. I think it's pretty hard to screw up a pie or a batch of cookies or scones. The savory, dinner-type things... that's where I sometimes run into problems.

Yesterday, I had a 67% success rate with the three items on my list to cook/bake which where two new recipes and one old standby.

The potato casserole was pretty straight forward, was easy to make and has already been completely consumed. Yummy. Score one for PT!

The potato soup in the slow-cooker? Barf. Sara put it best when, after tasting it, she told me it tasted like raw potatoes. She was right. The whole thing tasted like raw potatoes. Weird and disappointing. It did thicken up a bit and the potatoes were less overwhelming when I added the bacon.

Jason ate it. He eats everything I make though so that's not really an acurate indicator of what the yum-factor was. He and I agreed it was one of those "gonna be better when it's a leftover" foods. We'll see if that's true when I eat it for my lunch today.

And finally yesterday, I made my mom's pie crust cookies. They're magical. Seriously. Magical. (Thank goodness I had those in light of the potato soup mess.) She came up with the recipe as a way to use left over pie crust. Now, she usually makes a whole batch of pie crust for the purpose of making the cookies. I often do the same.

And since I'm feeling friendly, I'm gonna give you the recipe. It's simple and delicious. And I challenge you to find a better tasting pie crust anywhere.

Pie Crust Recipe
2 c flour
2 tbsp sugar
2/3 c oil
1/3 c milk

Mix in bowl with fork until just blended.
(Yields enough crust for a pie or 3 dozen pie crust cookies)

For the cookies:

Divide dough in half and roll out as you would for a pie crust. Spread butter onto the dough. Sprinkle liberally with sugar. Dust with cinnamon. Roll up crust like a jelly roll and cut into pieces about 1/2 inch thick. Repeat for remaining dough. Bake at 375 until sugar starts to bubble and crust gets flakey (About 10 minutes - but check after 5. The crust can go from raw to burnt super fast!)

Voila! Instant yum. :-) They don't look like much, but they're delish! Enjoy!

"...hold on to what you got, hold on to what you got..."

2009-02-17T12:10:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling a bit lost today. I was sick all weekend. And actually called in sick Monday. I think laying around with all of that time to do nothing but be on the couch by myself always makes me a little listless.

The lost feeling is coming from a really random thing: I feel kind of disconnected from my house. Which is a weird thing to feel distant from, I know. But I spend alot of time at work and then when I'm not at work, I spend alot of time at Jason's. Which is fine but I kinda miss my stuff and then I started thinking about what it's like to try to merge your stuff with you partner's stuff when the time comes (if it in fact does ever come) so that it's "home" to both of you.

How does this happen? Does one person get to keep more of their stuff than the other? Does it depend on where you live? Your place or your partners' place or a whole new place all together? And like, the bookshelf situation? How does that work? Do our books harmoniously live on the same shelves or like, do I get my own bookcase? Am I supposed to willingly give up the shit-ton of old college textbooks I have so we both have room for our books? And who gets to decide what goes in the bedroom? (Translation:WHAT WILL BECOME OF MY SPARKLY HEART PAINTING IN THE GOLD LAME' FRAME THAT'S ABOVE MY DRESSING TABLE? AND WHAT OF MY DRESSING TABLE?)

Very pressing, these questions. To me anyway. I feel like it was easier for my parents' generation. My parents are in their late 50s and early 60s so they're from the "you lived with your parents until you got married" school of thought. Sara and I on the other hand and even Ginny to an extent haven't lived at home since leaving for college. Yes, I went through that "I'm broke, I need to move home for a year" phase. But since then, I've had an apartment and now I have a house I'm (fingers crossed) renting-to-own and like, I have A LOT of shit. Like, alot alot alot.

And like, I know my parents didn't have to decide whose dining room set to put in their place or who would get to keep their living room furniture and who got to donate theirs to charity. Why? Because they didn't have any of that shit. Thus explains the need for bridal showers back then. Honestly, I can't even imagine what I'd register for if I got married. I have awesome pots and pans. I have a great blender and toaster. I have an entire service for 16 set of china of my Aunt's that I inherit if/when I become an old married lady. I'd basically be registering at Target for like, extra sets of bed dressing textiles and every day flatwear and tablewear (I would love to Goodwill the Corelle I've had since junior year of college. God that shit NEVER breaks!)

I need to go find a paper bag.

"...we could fly, you and I..."

2009-02-10T09:53:00.000-08:00

It's a dull Tuesday here in Sixburgh. It's 50 degrees but it's raining and gray -- a perfect "lay in bed and read all day" kinda Tuesday.

I've caught up on all of the internet action I've missed the past few days. And now I'm feeding my Facebook addiction.

It turns out that viral survey type things have found a home on Facebook, oddly enough. And I took the time to do one entitled "25 random things about me." And since there is virtually no cross over between my facebook friends and my PT blog friends, I thought this might be fun to share to my invisible friends, as Susan over at Trout Towers cleverly calls blog friends.

Enjoy! And partake! It's kinda fun!

1. Despite the fact that I work at the best place on earth to buy glasses and I own tons of amazing eyewear, there is a part of me that still feels that 5 year old little girl who got made fun of for her glasses. This is why I still wear contacts most days.

2. There is a framed picture of me & Hillary Clinton sitting on the end table in my living room.

3. Some days, I miss playing tennis so much that I actually ache for the feel of the racquet in my palm.

4. No matter how I try to fight it, I love crystals and gold lame' (Buying one of these ridiculous pieces of art sealed my fate this summer. http://www.artbypj.com/Category.html?ID=1499) I can't wait to be an old lady so all of this is acceptable.

5. My favorite photographs of the people I love are pictures I took when they didn't know anyone was looking.

6. The best fringe benefit of working where I doisn't the discount on the eyewear, it was meeting Jason, who was friends with work people and would come visit in my store. :-) I can't believe that was a year ago already.

7. It's rare to see me, regardless of the season, without a scarf around my neck.

8. I have a terrible and, quite frankly, pointless addiction to gossip blogs. I don't even know half of the celebrities about whom these bloggers gossip. But I just can't break the addiction.

9. I think the ability of people to forgive is one of the most amazing qualities of human beings. I personally am not always as forgiving as I maybe should be.

10. I blame my mother for both my horrible tendency to cry at the drop of a hat and my overly emotive, extroverted personality.

11. Going to therapy is the hardest and most rewarding thing I've ever done.

12. I can't even put into words what hearing certain songs does to me.

13. Part of me is endlessly sad that I don't talk to one of my sisters. The effect of this is that it makes me love the other two even more.

14. When I go to the grocery store by myself on my days off, I always leave my sunglasses on while I shop with the hope that someone will think I'm fancy and mysterious even though on the inside, I'm a total assclown who is praying she doesn't blow her cover and get the giggles on the elevator in the indoor Giant Eagle parking lot (as I am wont to do.)

15. I lose touch with friends for no other reason than I'm lazy and hate talking on the phone. Horrible, this trait.

16. Like every girl on earth, I want to be whisked away to Paris one day.

17. I'm a terrible speller.

18. I love working out but getting to the gym is the hardest. fucking. thing. in. the. world. This is why I will never be thin.

19. I am determined to find a way to live in Tuscany before I die.

20. My favorite emoticon is <3

21. My Pap died when I was 8. I wish he were still alive because I think he and I would have alot to talk about. My Nana died a few years later. I wish she were still alive because I think she'd have alot to say to me and I'd LOVE to hear her side of my parents' courtship story.

22. When Jason reaches for my hand in random places like the grocery store it overwhelmes me. In a good way.

23. LOLcats is the funniest damn thing on earth.

24. I hate flying but love the glamour and solitude of flying solo and not having to talk to anyone.

25. I'm worried that my 25 things note is dull and poorly representative of me.

"...show me a garden that's bursting into life..."

2009-02-03T09:24:00.000-08:00

In the summer of 2007, my family took our annual big trip to Hilton Head. Ma, Dad, Sara and Gram and I (and Sadie Lou the golden retriever) loaded into a conversion van and headed south. We were joined later that week by Ginny, Dann and Nick (and Olivia, in vitro) who stopped on their way back home from Disney World.

That's a whole lot of snark and sarcasm under one roof for two weeks.

During those two weeks, we drank, we ate, we played cards, we went to the beach, we read. It was an awesome time.

Also during those two weeks, we came up with a ridiculous name for, ahem, the female reproductive parts.

I don't quite remember how it came about but I think it had something to do with Sadie Lou going in the ocean for the first time and jumping when the water hit her girly bits. We all started laughing and saying all of the slang words... you know what they are. And I somehow came up with "clanger."

So, needless to say, we all said "clanger" constantly throughout that entire vacation.

"Don't piss off PT, her clanger will get in a twist."

"Sadie Lou loves Gram, even if her clanger is 83 years old."

"Ginny's clanger is gonna have another baby!"

.... the examples could go on and on, with increasing vulgarity...

This is all to say that today, I got a call from Dr. Simmonds, my gynocologist... re: the cervical cancer scare:

My clanger got a clean bill of health. :-)

Thank fucking god.

"...lovin' is what I got..."

2009-01-29T13:13:00.000-08:00

::PT decided it's time to take a break from being sooooo heavy handed with the sappy, emotional posts. Enjoy!::

Lest any of you think I haven't been paying attention to my Steelers fetish as of late, I want you to know that I am WILDLY excited about the Super Bowl on Sunday.

In honor of the BIG GAME, I'd like to educate all of you non-Steelers fans or non-football fans about how we do it in Pittsburgh on Sundays between August and December. As a season ticket holder, I feel it is my duty to write this post...

Let's take a narrative and pictoral journey through any given Sunday when the Steelers are playing at home at Heinz Field...

Usually, there is some sort of weather situation that requires finding creative ways to keep yourself cool/warm/dry.

On this particular Steelers' Sunday, there was a lighthening storm and falling temps. Hello, ponchos! Hello, hats! Hello, scarves!

Sara (left) and I were the most fashionable women in the pizza joint by the stadium. For real.

It is also important to remember that yes, clothing can keep you warm, but so can alcohol.

Here, Sara is partaking of her half of our pre-game Penn Gold 6pk.

You may be asking yourself, "PT, how can you drink that much before you even get into the stadium?"

Here is your answer:

We are not proud of it, but we eat an entire pizza at the pizza shop that's on the way during our walk from Downtown to the North Shore. We have to have the beer to wash down the carbs. Also, everyone knows how expensive stadium food is. We get a six pack and a pizza for less than twenty bucks at this place. Pittsburgh girls are smart.

And, when you get to your seats, you don't want to be thirsty or hungry because it's a serious hike up to section 537. But the view is worth it...

If you're lucky, you'll have swilled your beer and eaten your pizza quickley enough to get into the stadium in time to see the players take the field and do their warm-ups before kick-off:

What's more exciting than seeing a grown man in spandex getting his quad stretched by another grown man in a pair of khakis and cross-trainers? The correct answer is "nothing."

By now, you'll be ready for the game to start. And you'll start taking self-portraits. Because that's what girls do when they're drunk and excited.

The picture will not turn out well. Ever. But every time you look at it, you'll smile.

And the best part about all of this? You get to do it on an average of eight times per season.

Go. Steelers.

"...so let go, let go, jump in..."

2009-01-28T13:13:00.000-08:00

I had that procedure done on my girly bits yesterday.

UNPLEASANT.

So first of all, I'll get the biopsy results back in a week.

But second of all, holy fucking Christ. The pain. My god the pain. I'm not one of those chicks who gets all bent out of shape and lightheaded about a turned ankle or a cut or a bruise. So for me to say "holy fucking Christ, that hurt" means you can be assured that it did in fact hurt like whoa. Not only was "snipping" of the cervix involved, there was also scrapping and another pap smear with that mean, bristly mascara wand looking shit. Naturally. And I am also supposed to anticipate having "bleeding akin to menstrual bleeding" for 2 or 3 more days. Naturally.

I contend that if this procedure was done on men, it'd probably done under some sort of sedation or at least local numby-stuff. And they'd prob get prescription pain killers to use afterwards. Me? All I got was a "stay off your feet today" advisory and a pat on the knee and I was on my way home (where I promptly loaded up on Motrin and passed out with a heating pad.)

And another thing, the mean cold duck lips are NOT one size fits all vaginas. Yes, the mean medical instrument company does make a smaller set of mean cold duck lips. Yes, your OB/Gyn does have them. "Oh my, you have a tiny vagina, let me use the smaller speculum instead." Yes, Doctor, please do. But please, by all means, keep trying to use the standard size first EVERY. TIME. YOU. EXAMINE. ME. [Source]

And do the duck lips HAVE to make a sound like a fucking ratchet tie down when the doctor gets it all up in your girly bits and cranks the mean cold duck lips open? Huh?

I must say that having Sara and my parents and Jason with me throughout the day made things better. I don't imagine I was a fun person to be around yesterday what with the crying and whining and generally bitchery.

There. I'm done.

::PT wanders off for a salty snack, a brownie and another cup of coffee. Don't judge, she's recovering. :-)::

"...someone like you and all you know and how you speak..."

2009-01-20T12:20:00.000-08:00

This morning when I was getting ready for work, I was having one of those "I fucking hate my body" moments. I honestly could have sat down and cried if I had the time to be that self-indulgent in the mornings.

The good news is I'm going to the gym regularly again and that nice, dull muscle ache that comes along with a good workout that I've missed so much is back.

My mood has steadily gotten better though as the day has worn on. Despite the PMS. Despite the bloat. Despite the diet.

In other news, yay Inauguration Day! :-)

I'm not feeling political today, so I'll leave it at that.

And since I'm feeling a little bit "blargh" today, I'll simply leave you with this little nuggett of brilliance. (NSFW and might make you LOL, depending on how you're feeling today.)

Enjoy!

Funny Balloon Animal Commercial - Watch more Free Videos

"...I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence ..."

2009-01-19T07:53:00.000-08:00

We all know that Mondays are notoriously dull. And, after staying up late to watch that ROCKING STEELERS' GAME, my brain isn't firing on all cylinders.

So while I continue to pump caffeine into my tired system via my "bowl of coffee"(see above) as some people call my favorite 16oz coffee cup... I'm going to sit here in silence in my completely empty shop and offer you some random thoughts from PT's muddled brain.... I'm sure you're all so excited!

...I swear too fucking much. (Nothing made me realize this more than having a boyfriend who is not at all foul-mouthed unless it's reallllly reallllly called for. As in "Fuck, my truck won't start!" Or "Fuck, I wrecked my bike, please take me to the ER! I think my hand is broken!" Whereas I on the other hand am prone to use the f-word much more liberally. As in "Fuck, my mascara looks so fucking hot today!" Shameful.)

...I need to go to the gym more. (I recently joined Curves, despite my liberal tendencies that told me not to. Pittsburgh is not at all friendly to runners in the winter so I had to make alternate plans til springtime. And while I did go to the gym this morning, I was so damn tired when I was done that I was huffing and puffing more than the old ladies.)

...I love cooking for Jason. (Does this make me a 50's housewife-type woman? Should I be worried? This side of a year ago, I would have laughed if someone told me I'd be cooking dinner for someone on a semi-regular basis. Friends have said I'm cooking for him so much in an effort to fatten him up and make him less appealing to other women. Offensive on so many levels, but kinda funny and MAYBE true... subconsciously.)

...Hearing people whistle makes me wish I carried a gun. (I don't condone gun violence and I truly believe that people who get permits to carry concealed weapons are crazy, but holy god damn, hearing someone whistle makes me CRAZY enough to want a permit to carry a concealed weapon.)

...I'm highly emotionally reactive. (As evidenced by the previous observation. Sheesh. Must work on this.)

...If I could, I'd spend whole paychecks at Sephora. (Enough said. I'm sure at least one of you feels me on this.)

...Two years ago, I had my heart broken so badly by someone I cared so deeply for that I was shocked to find out that there are actually good men out there and that one of them is pretty crazy about me. (Good guys.... good guys are the ones to go after! WHO KNEW?!)

...I'm highly addicted to blogging. (And even if no one is highly addicted to READING my blog, I still enjoy letting shit out. Right around the time my therapist and I discussed cutting back my sessions to an "as needed" basis last year, I started this blog. I'm not saying that this blog has replaced my need for therapy or that blogging is better than therapy. I'm just sayin... sometimes it's the whole "getting the emotions into words" that's the hardest part when you're trying to heal yourself. This blog makes me keep finding the words.)

....I. AM. SO. EXCITED. ABOUT. TOMORROW'S. INAUGURATION.

...I hold on to the hope that I'll have a somewhat traditional wedding if I ever get married. (I want my dad can walk me down some sort of aisle. I'm sure it won't be a church aisle. And I want bridesmaids because honestly, getting to be someone's bridesmaid is like, getting the ultimate best friend necklace and I want my dear friends to feel that emotion. And I want to dance around like an idiot in a pretty dress with the people I love. Etc, etc, etc...)

... Lately, I wear too much black and I don't like that so much. (Is it because it's winter? I dunno... but I'm pretty sure I used to wear a shit ton of pink in the winter in an effort to combat the seasonal affective disorder. Hmmm...)

...Finally, getting emails and comments from both strangers and people I know in reaction to my abnormal pap smear has been so amazing. It's girl code to rally around a woman who's having DOWN THERE problems - to share stories, to share concerns, to channel good vibes. And all of you out there who read that post have been so kind and have made me feel so much better and have given me a much more positive attitude about all of this. For that, I'm so SO grateful.

::...PT wanders off to fill up her bowl of coffee again...::

"...everybody has a mania to do the polka from Pennsylvania!..."

2009-01-18T09:00:00.000-08:00

PT is going black and gold today in honor of the AFC Championship game. It's a possibility that the Steelers' Spirit might move me to keep the black and gold depending upon the outcome of today's game.

GO STEELERS!

"...I can mash potato (I can mash potato!)..."

2009-01-17T07:17:00.000-08:00

People will tell you that my dedication to reading Dlisted and Perez Hilton everyday is bizarre, at best. I've long since overcome the awkward phase each girl goes through with being a bit too in love with a hot actor. (Ohhh Matt Damon, how I loved thee...) What I like about these gossip blogs is the snark and sarcasm. And the funny YouTube videos Michael K and Perez post from time to time.

The video below is on Perez Hilton:

I'm a sucker for seeing strangers interact with each other instead of trying to avoid each others' gazes. And I'm an even bigger sucker for dancing in public.

This video triggered the memory of a day I haven't thought of in a while...

When I was still in undergrad, the Steelers played their first season at Heinz Field and at the first game my dad and I went to that season, there was a live band playing in the Great Hall where all of the Steelers' memorabilia and Super Bowl trophies are.

My dad, being the Mr. Bojangles that he is was caught up by the magical beat of this local band of old guys playing "Brown Eyed Girl." And while we were standing in line for a Primanti's, he grabbed my hand, twirled me around and we danced to "Brown Eyed Girl" in front of hundreds of strangers.

To this day, it's dancing with my dad at a Steelers' game on a random Sunday in Pittsburgh that is the singular reason that I want a traditional wedding someday so my dad can walk me down an aisle and so we can dance to "Brown Eyed Girl" at my wedding reception.

... all that... triggered by something I saw on a gossip blog.

::PT smiles::

"...then I ask you now, what's a girl to do?..."

2009-01-15T08:30:00.000-08:00

[Source]

Yesterday, my Dad and my sister Sara and I went to Klavon's for lunch.

Call me a simpleton, but I love love LOVE this ice cream parlor. They have exactly 3 choices for lunch: Italian hoagie, chicken salad sandwich on a croissant or soup. And of course, they have an amazing ice cream treat menu. Best of all, they make old school sodas. Soda water, coke syrup and a flavor. The vanilla coke is something out of heaven.

Klavon's is right across the street from my dad's office building in the Strip District. Whenever he's in the office and Sar and I can slack off in the middle of the day, we find ways to finagle him into taking us there for lunch.

The news of monday has made me slow down and really feel things. Sitting in the ice cream parlor with my dad and sister for lunch, picking out penny candy after we ate and laughing at nerdy jokes as we walked back to our cars made me so happy.

I'm a sap. I'm sure this is not news to any of you. You should all know this by now.

"...They say it's your birthday..."

2009-01-13T09:46:00.000-08:00

Today is Jason's birthday.

He seems to be as nonchalant about birthdays as I am. Which I have to admit is a bit of a relief.

He's completely content to just go out to dinner, have some cake and open a couple of presents. No big bar crawl, no drunken party, no "oooo look at me it's my birthday" action. (Another of the many, many reasons he and I are such a good fit.)

Given yesterday's dramatics, I can't think of a better time to go treat us to a funky dinner at The Church Brew Works to celebrate his 31st birthday. The poor bunny had to get the news about my girly bits last night and has had the forrowed-brow-worried-look ever since.

So. I'm looking forward to the happy distraction tonight. As, I'm sure, is he.

PS - Books really make the best gifts. And I'm not just saying that because I'm the daughter and sister of two librarians. Something I enjoy (maybe a little too much) is going to a bookstore and thinking about what books the people I love would like. But then again, I'm a bookworm. So.

"...All we can do is keep breathing..."

2009-01-12T14:04:00.001-08:00

This morning I found myself at a loss for blog topics.

My gynocologist's office called me this afternoon and gave me a topic.

Cervical cancer.

I had my annual check up last week. The lovely RN/PA/CRNP lady called me to tell me that my pap smear came back abnormal.

I started to cry. She told me to keep breathing.

In two weeks I go back to Magee Women's Hospital for a diagnostic cervical cancer test to biopsy the abnormal cells.

The lovely doctor's office lady was kind and gentle and told me that she'd tell me when to worry.

She said not to start worrying yet.

So, here I sit... thinking about how I'm supposed to not start worrying. Yet.

::PT wanders into the back room of her shop for more Kleenex::

..."In your red lipstick and lilac kerchief you're the most pretty lady in the world..."

2009-01-11T09:49:00.000-08:00

::PT waves to fashionista0921, knowing that this type of post is her usually territory::

The other day I wandered into Designer Days Boutique on Ellsworth Avenue in Shadyside. Having walked past it frequently on my trips to Salon 5844, I always meant to stop in but never did until this week.

It's your usual consignment shop in many ways. You have to dig for the good stuff and you have to have patience. I tracked down this cute pink angora hair capelet. I'm pretty stoked about that.

What makes Designer Days different from most other consignment shops I've been to is that it is actually a non-profit store. 100% of their proceeds go to women's and children's charities around the Pittsburgh area.

The $35 dollars I spent for my new-to-me capelet is going directly towards making the life of a woman or child better in Pittsburgh. The usual guilt I'm wracked with after shopping never set in.

They've got some seriously cute jewelry and random bits to finish out outfits. Go check it out and smile knowing that Pittsburgh is a cool and progressive place. You just have to know where to look.

"I've been roamin' around, always lookin down at what I see..."

2009-01-10T07:48:00.000-08:00

I must share this fabulous tidbit with all of you...

Most of you know I work 10 hr shifts by myself in my store. While there is almost always something to do, lately I have been caught up with all of my chores -- even the irritating chores I put off for days...

As a result, the internet becomes my best friend on long winter days. And finding ways to build up my wardrobe, cheaply, has been my goal lately.

As such... I present to you.... Gomatta Girls! They sell one item per day at a price that makes it a steal! Sometimes I fall in love, sometimes I don't. And that's part of the fun.

Imagine my happiness when I logged on to the website this morning to find that today's steal was a Saint Grace dress. S-W-O-O-N. Instantly in love. For $28.90!

Check. It. Out.

"... the book of love has music in it..."

2009-01-06T08:38:00.000-08:00

PT is the newest contributor to Book Me In , a blogging community for book lovers!

Book Me In is great place to get an honest review of popular books and I'm all sorts of excited to be a part of it!

Check out my first book review here!

[Source]

"...'cause it's easy once you know how it's done..."

2009-01-05T09:41:00.000-08:00

I just found out that I am now ABO Certified! I took my certification exam in November and just got my results. Yay me!

What does this mean exactly? Well, it means I earn more respect from my employers and it proves that I'm a skilled employee. Good things all around.

The sun is out today too. Which is also good.

Yay for good news and good moods!

"...for you I'd wait til kingdom come..."

2009-01-03T09:08:00.000-08:00

You know what's nice?

When you're running late and end up speeding to get somewhere and you call your plus one to tell them "Fuck it, nevermind, I don't want you to have to wait for me" and your +1 tells you "Take your time. Just be careful. I could wait for you forever."

That's nice.

"...I want to change the world, instead I sleep..."

2008-12-31T07:22:00.000-08:00

I haven't made a New Years' resolution in like, a severely long time. For the most part, I believe that if you want to achieve something you shouldn't wait for the calendar to change over to a new year to start working towards that goal.

That being said, I'm making a serious resolution this year.

I'm going to start running again. Serious. Running. Ready for a 10K by summer running.

[Source]

Ever since my hip flexor injury in the summer of 2006, my exercise routine has gone through serious changes. I couldn't run anymore, so I did physical therapy for 3 months, worked with a personal trainer until summer 2007, got back into the swing of working out on my own for about 8 months and then just totally fell off the exercise wagon in February 2008 when I got a new job.
To throw more non-motivation into the mix, I'm now in a relationship. And anyone will tell you that a new relationship can and often does derail good habits.

That being said, I miss working out and I miss running. I miss that time to myself. No cell phone, no talking. Just me, the pavement and my iPod. It's a travesty that I got a new pair of running shoes 3 months ago and they're still brand new.

That will change. Tomorrow.

Happy New Year!

"...are we human or are we dancers?..."

2008-12-30T13:56:00.000-08:00

I've never really been a fan of New Years'. It's always been kinda depressing, I think.

This year, for the first time ever really, I'll have a significant other to share my evening with. He pretty much shares my mindset when it comes to New Years' too. Loud drunken party? No thanks. Loud, smokey, drunken bar scene? No and no.

Quiet homemade dinner with my guy then maybe drinks at a friends' house afterwards? Sounds nice.

::PT's evil "mushy girlfriend side" is coming out. Here be monsters::

Call me lame, but the thought of having a quiet, peaceful, snuggly New Years' makes me want to get up and dance around in happiness.

::PT beats back her evil "mushy girlfriend side," let's her "angry shopgirl side" come out to play::

And by the way, if one more person today tells me "I'm in a hurry. I need this done as soon as possible," I'm going to kill someone.

"...Over and out she sang as the telephone rang..."

2008-12-27T08:33:00.000-08:00

Christmas has, of course, come and gone too fast. But as far as Christmas goes, 2008 was an excellent one.

I seem to have gotten a touch of the flu and wasn't able to eat my weight in fancy holiday food, but even a bit of sickness wasn't enough to dampen things.

I'm extraordinarily lucky to have such an amazing family and boyfriend. And I'm doubly lucky to have been able to have four days off to spend with them during Christmas.

I've been trying to think of stories from Christmas that made me laugh. It might be the flu medicine I've been taking, but I can't point to any one thing in particular that made me smile on Christmas -- just a general sense of peace and happiness that lasted all day is the only thing I can report.

Some of the most entertaining bits happened the day after Christmas at Ma and Dad's house when we plugged in the new Wii they got Sara and I. Damn entertaining that Wii is...

In addition to the Wii, Sara and I also mutually received a wine cellar for our house.

As such, we've decided that we will now have WWF Wednesdays at our house... no, there won't be a staged wrestling match... It's Wino, Wii and Fondue Wednesday.

You're officially invited. :-)

"... What a bright time it's the right time to rock the night away..."

2008-12-21T12:18:00.000-08:00

Tonight is my company holiday party. I'm excited because I could use a little party time. And I get to wear a pretty new dress by Angel Rox, my favorite new designer. [I'll be wearing the Audrey dress. Check out all of the fabulous designs here: http://www.angelrox.com/]

What better time to wear a new dress and wear sparkly makeup and bright red lipstick than a holiday party right? Who doesn't love being glammy?

As I putz around, waiting til I can start getting ready for the party, I'm watching the Garfield Christmas Special from the 80's. Thank you, YouTube.

Here is my Christmas gift to all of you, parts one, two and three. :-)

"...Ooooo-oooo I can confess, I don't know what to make from all this mess..."

2008-12-18T10:39:00.000-08:00

[Source]

Life is messy. And sometimes I don't know how to react to things that happen. I'm sooooo not that "I'll be strong for you" person. I'm much more that "I'm here to cry with you" person.

I'm making an effort to be the strong one instead of the crying one.

That's all I've got.

"... The tears are comin' down, they're mixin' with the rain..."

2008-12-16T11:58:00.000-08:00

[Source]

You know how somedays when you wake up in the morning, you kinda of get a feeling that things aren't really going to work out for you as the day progresses?

Yeah today is kinda like that for me.

Everyone is pissing me off. Everyone is making me emotional.

My bank account has exactly three dollars in it. I had to ask my parents to pay my student loans this month and I admitted to my mom that all I want for Christmas is money to pay January's bills.

Being an adult is hard. Working long hours and still not having enough money to live a moderately nice life sucks.

I feel so guilty now about that twenty dollar breakfast I bought for Sara and I at Eat 'n Park last Friday and very selfish for buying a $6 lunch yesterday.

It's hard to put into words how frustrated I am. So many people are "the working poor" these days.

Thank god I have a family and a boyfriend who dont care about presents and really only want to spend time with me for Christmas.

And I'm amazingly lucky to have understanding and supportive parents. I am 100% positive they went completely overboard on Christmas gifts like they do every year. And as I sit here, coming to terms with the fact that one week before Christmas I had to ask my mother to pay a bill for me, all I want to do is cry.

And at 8pm when I get off work and start my long, cold walk to my car, I will be doing just that.