Thursday, April 30, 2009

"...wasting my time in the waiting line..."

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Isn't it funny that when you're waiting for something to happen or waiting to hear news or waiting for the day you leave for vacation time seems to pass SO SLOWLY?

And then when the moment you've been waiting for finally comes, you worry that you're actually going to puke because all you've been consumed with for the past how ever many days is this moment. And you worry you're going to lose your composure. And that the moment is going to overwhelm you.

Yeah, that's where I'm at right now. Feelin' kinda barfy with anticipation.

*wrings hands*

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

" you know for you I'd bleed myself dry, for you I'd bleed myself dry..."

You know what sucks?

Adult acne. Seriously. What I wouldn't give for clear, perfect skin again. As if it's not bad enough I'm fighting off rosacea, I have to deal with adult acne too? The rosacea is kept at bay with vigilance and a strict skin care routine. And unless I drink red wine, it's imperceptible to everyone but me.

But these zits? Red and lumpy and itchy. It never fails that when it gets hot and I get that greasy, sweaty summer skin for the first time of the season, my chin breaks out like there are freaking LANDMINES on it.

The irony is of course that if I use acne medicine or some sort of acne cream or cleanser from the drug store, it makes my rosacea turn into a total angerball. But the rosacea stuff is rarely oil-free which becomes a problem when it's hot because my skin gets oilier in the summer heat. So I literally have no way to treat the pimples. Just have to let them take their course.

Sara's skin used to be really oily. As did our mom's. Age 27ish was the time both of them started really drying out and had to start using luxurious, oily-packed, fancy skin creams. And neither of them ever got a zit again. So while I was panicked about turning 26 and being in my late 20's now, I'm really kinda looking forward to being 27 because of the genes.

And let's not even talk about the chin zits that accompany my period every month.

Omg it's so hard to be a girl.

Monday, April 27, 2009

"...I know we can make it if we take it slow..."

This day has already been kinda brutally long. And there's still 5.5 hrs left of it.

Maybe it's the nice weather that's making me wish I wasn't here.

Maybe it's the fact that my Jason is home and I want to be with him...

Maybe it's something else (that I'm keeping to myself for the moment)...

Maybe it's because I actually feel like going out for a run...

Maybe it's because I want to get home and drink the delicious wine Jason brought back from his trip...

If I could leave work now, go run, shower up, go to Jason's and proceed to get drunk on wine at 5 o'clock then lay like a bum with him for the rest of the day, I'd be the happiest lady in the world.

Happy Monday everyone! Blargh!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

"...Putting all the clothes you washed away..."





It's been 10 days without him. And in those ten days, I did ALOT of laying around, alot of wine drinking, alot of working, alot of worrying, alot of thinking about the future and ALOT of laundry. Seven loads. And I'm still not done, but I put a big dent in it.

He just texted me. He'll be home in about 9 more hours.


When he first mentioned this trip, I wasn't really worried about missing him. I was more focused on him going and having a good time instead of how it would impact me. The day he left, I was a crying, weeping girl about it - after we said goodbye. I held it together and then later cried in my car. You know, like you do.

And sweet Jeebus, I've missed him so much that I really haven't been able to eat. (Emotional non-eater, you know.) Which, like, AWESOME - my pants fit better. And the Spanx I'm wearing under my sundress right now aren't quite as restricting.

But really, this non-eating is actually an indication to me that I can't live without him. Which I thought I knew before and now I'm even more sure of it.

I can't live without him.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

"...You wanna stay warm and get outta the cold with me..."

Ok seriously, what is WITH this crazy Pittsburgh weather?

It's 70 degrees one day and then it's 38 degrees the next morning. My poor daffodils are like "what the balls?"

The next day it'll be like 55 degrees but it will pour down rain and be windy, making it feel like it's about 30 degrees.


It's like summer decides it's here and then gets afraid of the commitment at the last minute and walks out on us for another week.


I've been thinking alot about Italy this week.

This is one of my favorite moments from those two weeks there in 2006. It was at the beach on Sorrento at the Amalfi Coast.

My dad and I wandered around the town all night. Drinking beer, going into little shops, hiking down the hillsides to the beach. It was one of those days in a person's life that is just so full of meaning and love that sometimes when my dad and I talk about it, we seriously weep.


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

"...If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less, keep me in your heart for a while..."

When I woke up this morning, I had the best text message of my life waiting for me.

And I'm keeping it all to myself.


Monday, April 20, 2009

"...if you love something let it go and if it comes back then that's how you know..."

Hello my darling readers. Today, the amazing Fashionista0921, one of my dearest friends, is guest posting at here Peace Turkey. Lovely Fashionista is going through an incredible test of strength right now with her partner. Let's send lots of good vibes to her.


How do you let go?

There’s a song out there that goes... “If you love something let it go and if it comes back then that’s how you know…”

I guess that’s how you know. It takes impeccable strength to let someone you love and care for so much go. Strength I never knew I even had.

This past week, I let him go- the love of my life, my soul mate, my future and my everything. I might sound crazy to you. I’ve only been in love once, with him. At the beginning, I was terrified to be in a relationship with him. Somehow I knew that this was him, the man I searched 23 years to find. I knew it from the first time we met, when he asked me if I needed a calculator to figure out my bill at lunch.

It took several months later for me to fall in love with him. He was leaving for a four-week trip to another country. We were sitting in his car in my driveway and I gave him a hug. At that moment, I knew I never wanted to let him go, ever.

But now, I’ve let go. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I let him go in hope that this love that what I find so true comes back around.

I don’t know what the future holds for me, for him, or for us, but I do know how I feel. No matter what happens, he will always be my best friend- the man I have always admired for his humor, heart and generous soul. Even though he broke my heart, I can’t help but smile and laugh because he makes me the happiest girl in the world.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

"...we were passers on the street, I never thought we'd meet until you said 'how do you do, my love?'..."

Here's a fun Sunday Morning story for all of you lovelies ...

I was off from work on Thursday. Sara had class til 6:30. I told her I'd pick her up at campus so she didn't have to take the bus.

She called at 6 to say she was out and I could come get her. The puppy was wound up so I decided rather than trying to get him in his crate, I'd take him for a car ride. So I put poochy in the passenger side and walked around to my side. He of course was sitting in my seat by the time I got to the drivers' side door.

I put my keys and my iPhone on the roof and wrestled him back into his seat. I held him there with one hand and reached up to grab my keys with the other. Just the keys. Not the phone.

And I drove off.

It wasn't until I got to campus that I realized what I had done. Of course the phone wasn't on the roof anymore.

So I retraced my route on the way home and told Sar to keep her eyes peeled.

We found my phone like 100 yards from our house. Of course, it had been run over. The irony is that the fucking thing still worked even though there was a weird grey bar on one side of the screen. I had three missed texts. Ha! But the screen is shattered into 1000 pieces of tiny, sharp glass.

So off I went to the Apple store. More irony: repairing the screen would have been more expensive than getting a new phone.

So I have a new phone. Hopefully this one won't meet the same fate.

Epic Fail.

Friday, April 17, 2009

"... from the shape of your shaved head I recognized your silhouette..."

This morning as I was doing my usual Friday running around, I swore I saw Jason on his bicycle. Of course as I looked closer, I knew it wasn't him. Right after I saw this biker, Jason texted me. He had some Arby's for lunch and is currently driving through the Rocky Mountains.

He and a friend left from Pittsburgh yesterday at noon, headed to Moab via St. Louis where they met up with a few more guys to carpool in someone ginormous truck. He sent me this picture of the arch in St. Louis at midnight when they got there.

They'll get to Utah in about six more hours. Tomorrow morning, the dirtbiking in the desert will begin.

Honestly, I can't imagine driving an entire day and then some straight through like that. I'd be bat-shit crazy. I am not a peaceful passenger on long car rides. I usually can sleep through most of it. But once I'm awake and if I don't fall back asleep, I'm like that jumpy chick on the restless-leg-snydrome medication commercial. Can't sit still. At all. I'm convinced that only dudes are hardwired for this kind of trip.

I would love to go out west to see Moab and Yellowstone and all of those beautiful things on the other coast. I'd just need like an entire week of driving for a bit then stopping at bed and breakfasts along the way in order to get that accomplished.

I'm just sayin.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

"...dear Jesus make me simple, strong as trees to sway..."

I can't really get my mind together enough to get a full post out of my jumbled thoughts right now... so here are a few mind-droppings.

...A dear,dear friend of mine is going through a whole shit-ton of crap with her partner right now as I type this. In the end, he may no longer be her partner. She has been strong and beautiful and amazing through it all. And the rest of us can only hope to have the poise and grace she does were we to ever find ourselves in a similar situation.

...Jason is leaving for Utah tomorrow. For ten days to dirtbike in Moab with his friends. He will have a good time and I know he'll come back safely. I'll be missing him terribly.

...I am finally going to the craft store tomorrow to stock up on some supplies for fun projects that have been kicking around in my noggin for a while. I hope some of the ideas actually turn into good finished projects!

...A new clothes washer was delivered to my house yesterday. With Jason being gone and there being a functional washer again in my basement, I may finally FINALLY get my laundry completely done... for the first time in over a year. (Andrew - I will no longer be at risk for being trapped under an avalanche of dirty clothing!)

...I'm not one for praying, but there are several things I've been praying about lately - the most superficial of which is a prayer that the student loan people don't garnish my tax return. I just recently found out this can happen. The unrealistic $1300 a month loan payment is no where near what I can afford to pay per month. Which of course puts me on their hit list. As such... I'm now praying the tax return hits my checking account before AES can take it all in one lump sum. They're gonna get it all eventually anyway. Bastards. Amen.

...finally, hug someone or a bunch of someones and tell them you love them today. It seems like a good day to spread some love around.


Saturday, April 11, 2009

"...wave goodbye wish me well, you've gotta let me go..."

I usually spend a fair amount of my Fridays off goofing around.

Running over to Jason's house seeing his progress.

Napping on the couch.

Going for a half-hearted run in Frick Park.

Regardless of what I do during the day, from late afternoon til the next morning I'm always with Jason. By then we're both finished doing whatever it was we had to do during the day and can goof off together without guilt for the remainder of the day.

Yesterday we didn't get to do this and I honestly felt like half of my heart was missing. I was angsty. I felt all discombobulated. I couldn't sleep. Even having two kitties in bed with me didn't help.

This is just to say that I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself when he leaves on Thursday to go to Moab with his buddies for ten days on a dirkbiking trip. I'm glad he's going. It's important that he spends time with his friends. I'm just gonna miss him terribly and worry about his safety the whole freaking time.

In September he went for a five day trip to West Virginia and that was pretty tough.

And at that point we'd only been officially together for three months. At this point, we're creeping up on officially a year together.

I'm trying not to think about it.

::breathes into paper bag::

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

"...of course I'll be alright, I just had a bad night..."

I finally got to spend some nice time with Jason yesterday since I was off and my only real commitment was a doctors appointment.

Between him being in overdrive working on his house and me with my always crazy work hours, we were apart much more than usual over the weekend.

Last night we had a big date at Ikea. We're such rebels!

Now the awkward part is that it's his house he's working on. It's not ours. It's his. He bought it. We don't live together. The topic has never been brought up. I can see it happening in the future, to be sure. But for now, it's his house.

We went to Ikea because he needs countertops. And I kind of dread when he needs the help of a sales associate only because, as sales associates are want to do, they focus on the woman because they know if you sell the woman, the man will follow.

...His house. Not ours...

So the counter top specialist put his pitch to me and not Jason. I honestly felt bad because one, I had to feign disinterest in order to get the guy to put the focus back on Jason and two, the specialist ended the pitch with "come on, honey, this is fun! Get interested!"


Jason is thankfully not ruffled by these kind of things like I am. I'm all "now that guy thinks I'm a bitch and you probably think I don't care what your house looks like." And he's all "That guy was really chatty. I hope the Ikea cafeteria is still open, I could MASSACRE some Swedish Meatballs!"

Ironically enough, I'm sitting here today waiting for Ikea to fax over custom countertop estimates to me since I have a fax.

Also of note from the Ikea trip: Jason got me one of their mini blue Ikea totes. So. Cute. And only $0.49!!

In closing, here are two of my favorite pictures of the house so far.

I love the boldness of the goldenrod color in the living room.

And how amazing is this bathroom sink???? And the tile work!

(Yes, he does all of this himself. Plumbing, plastering, drywalling, wiring, floor refinishing. I'll ask him what he did during his day and he'll be all "I refinished the hardwood floor in the master bedroom and installed the kitchen cabinets." And I'll be like "wow, you're hot and amazing." And he'll be all "what did you do?" And I'll be all "I checked my email 1000 times and played on facebook.")

Monday, April 6, 2009

"...lift up your shirt, the wound isn't there..."

I had a really shitty, profane post written out about what a foul mood I'm in today. But then I found this picture online and decided to delete what I had written and allow Mr. Grumpy Cloud here do the talking for me.

I figure it would spare everyone from reading a cranky blog post.

Happy Monday! Blargh!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

"'re the only sense the world has ever made..."

I hate to be one of those people who talks about her boyfriend more than she probably should...

...ok I'll be honest, I like being one of those people. I know it irks singletons. It always irked me when I was single. But I have been single my whole life. And I truly used to be Sex and the City's Charlotte York when she had her "I've been dating since I was 13! I'm exhausted! WHERE IS HE?!" meltdown. I have had quite enough horrible first dates and blind dates in my time. I feel as though that entitles me to a little unbridled happiness about having Jason in my life. This is not to say that I'm a happy, shmappy "nothing is ever wrong and we'll be happy together forever and ever" person either.


Over the weekend I went home to see my parents. My mom and I were running errands together. I mentioned to my mother that the bf and I were planning on going to Lancaster, PA for a nerd-o-rific weekend of brewery and vineyard tours in good ol' Amish Country. (Kinda lame, yes. But it's close by, it'll be cheap and there will be alot of drinking and lazing about.)

Now, a note about Shirl: Tough when it comes to her kiddles. Always has been. And is definitely one of those "are you good enough for my sweet, beautiful, perfect Peace Turkey? Are you? ARE YOU?!" moms.


I mentioned this trip to her with the kind of trepidation a daughter usually reserves for when she tells her mother she is like, failing out of school or is shaving her head and is going to join a gang....

....Hilarity ensued as I drove down the road towards our next stop at Target:

PT: So what do you think about that?
Shirl: Oh how nice! Your father and I had such a nice time there at the vineyard we went to.
PT: *blank stare*
Shirl: Really, it'll be nice.
PT: [still full of trepidation] Yeah, I know. I liked it when we all went there one summer...
Shirl: And you know, your father just bought that conversion van for our drive to Hilton Head with the dogs and your sister in July. You and Jason should take the van when you go away.
PT: *picks jaw up off of dashboard* Ok. Thanks, Ma.