Tuesday, December 16, 2008

"... The tears are comin' down, they're mixin' with the rain..."

You know how somedays when you wake up in the morning, you kinda of get a feeling that things aren't really going to work out for you as the day progresses?

Yeah today is kinda like that for me.

Everyone is pissing me off. Everyone is making me emotional.
My bank account has exactly three dollars in it. I had to ask my parents to pay my student loans this month and I admitted to my mom that all I want for Christmas is money to pay January's bills.

Being an adult is hard. Working long hours and still not having enough money to live a moderately nice life sucks.

I feel so guilty now about that twenty dollar breakfast I bought for Sara and I at Eat 'n Park last Friday and very selfish for buying a $6 lunch yesterday.

It's hard to put into words how frustrated I am. So many people are "the working poor" these days.

Thank god I have a family and a boyfriend who dont care about presents and really only want to spend time with me for Christmas.

And I'm amazingly lucky to have understanding and supportive parents. I am 100% positive they went completely overboard on Christmas gifts like they do every year. And as I sit here, coming to terms with the fact that one week before Christmas I had to ask my mother to pay a bill for me, all I want to do is cry.

And at 8pm when I get off work and start my long, cold walk to my car, I will be doing just that.