Tuesday, April 15, 2008

"Dilegua, o notte! Tramontate, stelle! Tramontate, stelle! All'alba vincerò! Vincerò! Vincerò!"

(Above: NASA photo of a sand dune on Mars Courtesy of NASA/JPL-Caltech)

I've sat down to write what I've realized will be my last blog post for class. And it's finally sinking in that this semester is over. And graduation is next week. For as difficult as it has been these past two years to go to school full time while also working full time, it was my choice. I chose that difficult schedule. Friends who have seen me on campus see me always walking around with a cup of coffee and a huge tote bag full of books and school work and work work and probably have always seen me mid-yawn, to be honest. Three to five hours of sleep per night has been my standard these past 24 months...

...and now looking back on it all ... and seeing that it's all over... I wouldn't change it for anything:

when I was so tired that only having Poox2000 sitting next to me, nudging my arm kept me awake in class; when being at work at UPMC was so depressing that I would call my mother in the middle of the day just to remind myself I was worth something; when I was awake for two days on end to finish an assignment; when I was an emotional basket case because of things going on in my personal life; when I had to call off work the morning after hanging out with my GSPIA friends all night the night before; when I survived only on caffeine and the food I had time to buy at Einstein's in Posvar Hall... All of those things, those small and insignificant things, have added up to a life that I'm actually happy I've lead. And that life has been supported so much by my family and my friends. I know I've been difficult and taxing and just an out-right bitch sometimes to them. But their support has never waivered so I know they'll be sitting at commencement to clap for all of us next Saturday.

Transitioning into a life that does not include school might be easier for me than it will for others since I have been working. But it makes it no less emotionally challenging. And no less difficult when we all realize that we're not going to see each other every day. I'm lucky to have found a few people at GSPIA who are not just friends, but truly a part of my family now. And for that reason, I am in love with GSPIA because it brought me to people I now love.

Finally, I have to give credit to Dr. Carpenter for coming up with the lovely idea to have us all write blogs this semester. I've loved doing it. And I will continue to post to this blog long after this semester is over. Having a professor who knows that teaching is more than just lecturing and assigning papers has been uplifting. Recognizing the humanity in her students is a characteristic Dr. Carpenter has that other professors, campus-wide, would be well-served to adopt.

Mornings always bring out my tendency to be maudlin. And as I sit here, in my new house, on my sunny sunporch with my two kitties, I'm just going to let it all sink in.

I'll post the academic post I had intended to write when I sat down here 15 minutes ago later on today. Thank you, as always, for indugling me, dear readers.

1 comment:

Mercedes said...

I'm actually dreading graduation (luckily, I have a whole year left to change my mind and decide to get another master's degree), because I so enjoy school. Which is strange, I realize, but true.

Anyway, good luck with graduation and everything after that.